its been such a long time that ive posted that i thought id catch up. things went bad for awhile but they are looking up for now, mostly. i was in a deep depression for a long, long time. my pdoc had to add 2 antidepressants to my other bipolar meds just to control it and now it seems to be backing off. i think now that im on a hypothyroid med that is helping a lot too. a lot of things happened too. my grampa died, it was a millitary funeral as he was a WWII vet and the taps part really got to me. and i has some spiritual issues, issues about
God and things that have gotten me doen and im going to speak to a deacon to help me. my best friend of 12 years recently moved to new jersey and that has been so, so hard. hes been such a huge part of my life that i feel like a part of me was torn away. he came back for a birthday party and i say all me friends that i met through him, the boys who play baseball, ive known them for 7 years or so and it was great, but the probelm is it stupidly didnt occur to me that hed be leaving again and i just fell apart. when it was time for him to leave i cried and cried, first to his wornderful gf and then to him and at the same time feeling so embarrased. since becoming bp i can hold my emotions and i hate it. i felt so guilty to lay it on him and so embarrased to do it in front of everyone. bu i emailed him and tried to explain how girls get emotionally attached and boys dont and thet is why its so hard for me. but oh well. one good thing is that im on a new drug, humira, for my crohns disease and within a few weeks i should be in total remission. ill be so happy, no more steroids and no more pain or symptoms. i also have had migraines every single day since the week before christmas and ive gotten a new med that is working alsong with massages. im going to start trying to work again next week, back to my 2 days a week like usual, all that i can handle.
oh well, thanks for reading my novel :)
bunny