HELP! whirling cycling

have been cycling so quickly that i'm getting dizzy! was okay for a new high of 3 days. or was it just hypomanic? don't know. have no idea anymore what "normal" is. as someone put it, it's a setting on a washing machine. doc upped my lamictal and seroquel (love the latter) but it takes so long to notice any improvement. having very weird dreams ... from the 300 mg seroquel i now take at night? on tues. p.m. a deer attempted to enter my car thru windshield and sent me to new lows and mental floggings not to mention financial distress. getting to be i dread feeling "okay" because i know something's coming that will hurt. plus therp wants me to change doctors and go to someone she recommended. can't change without more upset. feeling pulled and pushed in too many directions right now to keep any semblance of stability. HELP!

linda

can't bear the thought of another change. still in denial phase of this blasted disease. one of problems was in reaching pdoc when necessary, but have his beeper and hospital numbers. plus present pdoc is highly acclaimed. don't want to change/give up on someone who is helping me.

there's a huge dog show tomorrow near me and i think i will force myself, like it or not, to go to it. have cats, but love dogs, especially mastiffs. really a lovely and educational show. always fall for a breed when i go.

today have a "play date" for my young manx with my friend's. should be interesting. hoping it helps us all.

have given up somewhat on the idea of "normalcy" until i slow down. just wish it were over and cycling stops making me dizzy. too much to deal with. plus triggers are not to be trusted. switching in those too. can't predict, although i felt the last one coming in the pit of my stomach. got shakey there, like i had been spinning around and around. guess i have been.

in my readings, found even when cycling is slowed or stabilized, can still have it. so why even bother? linda