Just trying to deal with bp fiance

To start: bp/schizo affective diagnosed years ago, treated and untreated, we meet, after a year he has severe episode, we find GOOD support, GREAT psychiastrist, AMAZING psychotherapist and the right meds (finally). We go to couple's counseling with his therapist and he has one on one sessions with her. Layers of issues in addition to bp, my fiance is a true survivor (adopted, adoptive mother dies, dad remarries, family lives in denial anything ever happened). I am committed to him more now than before his diagnosis and love him with all my heart. I just met with my own therapist for the first time and I'm finding it hard to convey the pity party that's going on in my head. I wish this wasn't our situation, I know we are far ahead of the game, we're learning everything we can about the illness, my fiance's stressors, med-interaction (no advil w/ lithium, who knew!)...we're just coping day by day. i'm better at the one day at a time thing than my fiance is, so that's hard. Trying to be the cheerleader for the both of us has depleted me. I just want us to be able to maintain stability for as long as we can, recognizing there will be unstable days in the mix.

Just poking around this board to figure out whether there are other spouses coping...how do you cope?

Thanks in advance for any insight.

Hi diskus,

Welcome to HealingWell and to our board. Sukay's right. We have a number of spouses/significant others on our board. Glad to have you in the mix too. Good luck with everything. It'll be great to have your perspective as well.

serafena

It's so true. You want to try and live a life that isn't completely dominated by this disorder, but it still manages to affect most aspects of life. What a place to be stuck. Hang in there...

serafena

I have bipolar II -- I've never had classic mania where I lose myself completely, and for that I am grateful. Instead I get angry at everything, am easily irritated and hard to live with, get jittery and feel like I'm jumping out of my skin. I can't sleep and I eat and eat. This is called hypomania. My depressions are every bit as deep as regular depressions. I've been hospitalized for suicidal ideation, I'm sorry to say. Right now I'm feeling "normal-ish" -- as normal as I get, with a very low grade depression. I've just climbed out of a depression which had me for a good 9 months. Really sticky one. Meds were crucial in helping break that, and I have a fantastic psych and a really wonderful therapist. Most importantly, I have a terrific husband who is really patient and loving with me. He took a lot of time to learn about the disorder, is really kind to me, and tries really hard to keep my moods in perspective. It's not always easy though, and he caves in sometimes just like any normal person. He'll yell back occasionally, walk away. But he's my rock. He keeps me steady.

serafena