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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 1/2/2009 5:26 PM (GMT 0)
               My husband has decided he wanted a divorce. He blames me for not trusting him, which I did not for a while because I needed on antidepressants myself. He blames me for him making $50,000 this year and having nothing to show for it. He says that he spent all of his money on me and my cousin. He blames me for not wanting a baby because that is the one thing he wanted and I did not give that to him. We had a deal when we were going to start trying and he does not care now. He blames me trading in two mustangs for two vehicles I wanted. I just wanted practical vehicles. We live in Michigan and the winters are unpredictable. He is very angry and willing to give up everything. He moved out after I had asked him to when I thought he was cheating. He told me yesterday that we fight all the time and we do not live together. When I try to explain things to him he accuses me of fighting with him. He said he may never get married again because he does not want to go through this again. He does not want to try marriage counseling because it will not work. He wants to be able to hang out with his friends and not worry if he thinks I am cheating. Which I do understand his point. I stopped going bowling with him because it just was not fun anymore to me. I am just trying to make since of it all. I love him and I am hoping he will go to the doctor on Monday with his mom. He has been off of his meds for 2 years and right now he is not even answering his mom's calls. He is close with her. His sister said he sounds just fine, but knows there is a problem. I have never seen him like this before and I know he loves me, but he said he just wants to be friends. I know he isn't sleeping. He admitted that to me. He said that video games are boring, which he used to love. He used to love bowling, but I know he gave that up too. I am just at a loss. I love him so much and I don't think he wants to give up everything like he says he does. Has anyone else gone through this before that can give me advice?
Posted 1/2/2009 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi hurtandconfused,

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Your husband sounds like he's having a manic or mixed episode -- manic and depressed at the same time. He really needs to see his doc and get on a treatment plan. If you have any pull with him, urge him to go on Monday. Unless he decides to do that though, you're dealing with someone who is irrational and not himself. He's not making decisions with his full capacity and his moods are not his own.

It sounds like all the communication has gone out of your marriage, bp or no. You need to get that back if you want to rescue your marriage. Are you in therapy of your own? It sounds like you could really use some support of your own to help you learn how to maintain your own health while dealing with him.

Good luck,
serafena
Posted 1/2/2009 6:08 PM (GMT 0)
I am in counseling and have been for a while since we separated. I am on antidepressants now and see things in a better light, but I am just worried about him.

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