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Update on BP wife

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Posted 6/3/2009 3:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again. Since the last time I've been here, my wife was finally diagnosed with BP Disorder. The pdoc gave her Seroquel (sp?) as a sample to try since she was having manic episodes while on the SSRI (Celexa) and Ativan (Lorazepam).

Looking at the side effects of Seroquel, I can't help but be concerned for her. Diabetes runs in her family and it is a possible side effect along with all the others.

As far as our relationship goes, I get the feeling that she blames me for her situation. She keeps repeating that she had a bad day and no one (including me) was there to help her. That everyone kicked her when she was down. What is sad is that she's partly right because I didn't realize at the time what I was dealing with. She doesn't accept that as an excuse though.

Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Posted 6/3/2009 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi bluetiger,

Welcome back.

I wouldn't worry about the diabetes unnecessarily. Tell her to ask her doc about it if you are concerned, but unless you feel she is in danger of contracting it on her own, I think it's probably a rare occurance. But I'm no doc. Only her doc can verify that for sure.

Someone in the middle of a depressive or manic cycle is likely to lash out at those around them. That doesn't make it true and you don't have to take it to heart. Your job as a partner of someone with bp is to love and care for her, obviously, and make sure she sees her doctors, takes her meds, and gets lots of support at home. Ask her what she wants from you now, and if it's in your ability, do it. There are two great books about how to live with someone bipolar: The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz; and Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder by Julie A Fast. I'd recommend doing some research for yourself.

Hope this is helpful,
good luck to both of you,
serafena
Posted 6/4/2009 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Bluetiger,
Welcome back. The important thing is that you now have a dx and are working with a pdoc. Everyone reacts to medicine differently. The law requires that any prescription list every single side effect that was noticed during the trial and clinical phase.

If your wife has a family history of diabetes, she should be on the look out for it based on that. As Serafena said, she should consult with her doctor.

My husband is BP (I am not) and it is a tough road. But I found that the more I read up on everything, the better I was equipped to handle it. Now, do I handle it well when he has a manic episode, sort of. I cry, I don't eat and I worry 24/7 but I keep reminding myself not to get angry, not to say that he's got a problem, and follow the advice of everything I read.

My advice to you is to ask your wife if you can go to a couple of her sessions with her therapist/pdoc. Communicating with a third party present is very helpful. And don't get too upset about what you did before her dx - you didn't know. So, find out as much as you can, post here and work on supporting and being there for yourself and your wife.

Good luck

BPWife
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