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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 11/29/2009 11:19 AM (GMT 0)
At the moment I feel so alone.  I can have someone standing beside me yet still feel totally alone. 

I have always locked away my emotions - generally to protect the people around me.  I have just to come to the conculsion I can no longer manage this on my own.  PDR is booked but I have a long wait till then.  It has taken me to hit rock bottom to see that I need help, but I am having hassles trying to stay afloat in the mean time - till I see the PDr. 

When things are good I don't think that there is any problem, and maybe all will be ok from now on.  When I get bad I just want it to stop, but it is out of my control, and nothing I seem to do works.  The worst feeling is knowing what is about to happen and having no control over it.

Does it get easier,  I will have to wait for the verdict from the doc - but what can I do till then? confused

Posted 11/30/2009 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Only-me,

Glad to have you. Have you already been diagnosed bipolar? Are you on medication right now?

In the meantime make sure you get plenty of regular sleep (don't sleep too much either,) and avoid stress whenever possible. Try and get some exercise, even if it's just going for a walk, and remember to give yourself a break. It's okay that you're not feeling good, and you're trying to take care of yourself. Try to do things that give you pleasure: reading, cooking, playing with your kids, etc, even if it's just for a little while.

serafena
Posted 11/30/2009 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your words of wisdom.  My normal GP is pretty sure it's BP, and I am of the same opinion - now I know a bit more about bipolar -( no  one previously thought much of my symptoms, I have now found a good GP however ) I have now booked in to see the PDR but I have a long wait 6 months.  I had put the visit off for a long time but things have recently got out of hand. 

I am not on any meds at the moment, I am undecided how I feel about meds.  When I feel good I think everything is ok.  But then there are times when I have had enough of everything, and I would do anything to fix it.   Stress is one of those things that seems to follow me around, especially this time of year.  I know my job stresses me out but the thought of having to give it up stresses me out even more.

Thanks for your kind words

Posted 11/30/2009 4:31 PM (GMT 0)

Only,

Glad you joined us here.  You are not alone, we all feel like that.  I am sorry you have to wait so long to see PDoc.  Serafena gave you some good ideas about hanging on in the meantime.  Try not to think too far ahead regarding meds.  Take one day at a time and when you do get to see the Dr., keep an open mind.  I was ready to quit my job (that I could not afford to) but now that I have found a med I can tolerate and dosage is right, I am glad to have a job to go to everyday.  Drawing conclusions before you are diagnosed is only going to add more stress.

Stay chilly and I hope it all works out for you soon.  I know exactly what you mean about feeling fine and then bam, you know you really need help.  The meds help keep you on a more even scale, then you can learn to deal with the way you feel when the highs and/or lows hit.

Good Luck and let us know how you are doing.

Gem wink

Posted 12/1/2009 11:19 PM (GMT 0)

  With the proper meds and therapy YES it does get a WHOLE lot easier. When i look back and see how out of control i was and how i had no idea of how to handle this monster, i am amazed i'm not dead. There is something about knowing the nature and name of the beast that takes away alot of its power. Knowing that i wasn't in my right mind has given me the ability to forgive myself my many mistakes and screwups. Now that i know what i am fighting it allows me to have more control and more insight into how my body is reacting to things that happen to me.

  And my wife and i are doing great, it's been  a long hard year rebuilding my marriage and the trust i broke (i had multiple affairs) but despite all the hard work it was rewarded with getting my life back and it's better than ever. My wife even says i am now becoming the man she has allways wanted me to be. That means a lot to me and encourages me to work even harder to beat this beast. And if not beat it than i will take a draw. LOL  turn  

   A year ago i was at my lowest level, my marriage was a wreak, my work was in shambles, i was sucidial, and my family hated me for cheating on my wife. Then i got help, got diagnosed, and got treatment. A year ago i wanted to crawl into a hole and die, now the future looks great. I still have to work hard at it, but the meds and therapy have given me the tools to have a fighting chance.

    Hope this helps. BIll 

Posted Yesterday 12:33 AM (GMT 0)

Welcome Only me,

I remember when I was first diagnosed asking the same question.

What I now know is that after working closely with your pdoc, finding the right medication and dosage for you, things will feel a whole lot better.  That process took going to every single appt., and calling the pdoc to get in early if I felt things were starting to get out of hand.  Even the slightest adjustment could make all the difference.  There are plenty of medication options there so what doesn't work for you can always be substitued with another, so let you pdoc know of any side effects.

In the meantime could you get a appt. with a talk therapist sooner than a pdoc?  Most people with bipolar see a therapist as well anyway and it helps tremendously.  You would be one step ahead of the game. It could help a lot while your waiting too.

Hang in there.  If you are dedicated to your wellness, things will get a whole heck of a lot better.  blush

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