Sluggish.....

You would think I could stay in a "happy" mood, after all, hubby and I went shopping yesterday (shopping is my favorite past time). Yeah I felt great until it was bedtime. For some odd reason I had a crying episode and couldn't get it to stop. I can't even remember what sparked me to just start balling, but it lasted a long time.

Then this morning when I got up my face was so swollen you would have thought I was beaten. I just starred at myself in the mirror, and got emotional, as I was talking to myself in the mirror. I asked myself why do you have to be bipolar, why me, why why why? Angela you have so much going for you, why are you having these "lows" so often? Why aren't you happy? So on and so on......

So now I am in this I want to stay in bed all day mode. I don't want to do anything. I have no life in me today, and it's this stupid disease that is doing this to me, I hate it!

I am reaching out for some sort of support to help me change my mood.

Angela

I understand exactly what you mean. The very same thing happens to me. As a matter of fact, Im going through it right now. The past week has been a "high" for me and all of a sudden today I went "low" and at night I just burst into tears and Im not sure why. I keep asking myself why I have to deal with this. I havent been officially dx'ed with BP but my pdoc believes I have it..(based on notes from my therapist and his nurse).. I wont know for sure until I see the pdoc in January. But, Im sure I do. And I understand just how you feel. All day I have been locked in my room. I just want to sleep and stay in bed. I dont want to be bothered.

Its difficult. All of this crying when I wake up tomorrow my face will be very swollen. I know how that is. And its hard to have relationships at the same time. When Im supposed to spend time with my special someone and then all of a sudden I have a mood change... Im sure its more than difficult for her to deal with as well, which only makes me feel worse.

We can ask ourselves why we have this illness..why anyone has any illness... but it doesnt matter. We can ask over and over again, but in the end we still have an illness. Its hard to question it and hate it.... it makes life worse. We just have to learn to cope and deal with it the best that we can to make life suitable. Its not easy at all.... but we have our ups and downs.... You and I are both going through a down, and Im sure others are also, but things will be okay.

Just hang in there and do your best to deal with things and they will get better. Take care

Hi Guys,

With trial & error and finding the proper medication, things will get better.  It's frustrating...I know, but things will start to level off.  Keep the faith and Hang tough!  You have to fight and be proactive as anyone else should be when fighting for their health issue whatever it is.

My mom always use to tell me..."crying isn't going to settle anything."  I know it's different when we are battleing depression and moodswings, but we have to push ourselves to get out of that and do something else.  We have to be proactive.

Oh...I don't know who wrote this, but maybe it might help?...

"No matter how seemingly pointless the present moment may be, it's the only space in which we actually live. If we let it go by without participating in it, we don't live at all."

Wishing you wellness!