Hi Gem,
Sometimes we don't know how good we have it until we take it away. I know it's not the best...but it's a heck of a lot better on the meds and sometimes that is the only way we learn is by going off of them.
I don't think you will get chewed out. I think most bipolars go through this. It is like a classic symptom of us crying out for help and some type of regularity in our lives. We think we just go into denial that we really need our meds to help us cope.
I wish you wellness! 
Hang it there. Like the previous poster said, Pat yourself on the back...you're pulling yourself up by your boot straps!