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Bipolar g/f questioning relationship - feeling 'pressure'

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Posted 2/20/2010 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
I've been going out with my g/f for nearly three years now. She is bipolar. During our time together I have helped her get her medication under control and see a psychiatrist.

In fact everything was going so good - she stopped seeing the psych for quite a long time - could even be six months.

Then out of the blue this week she started questioning our relationship. I reassured her everything was OK however I could see something was not 'right' with her. Then yesterday she starts telling me she's started to 'disasociate' at work - don't know if I spelled this right - basically she feels like she's not 'really there' and somewhat removed.

Last night when I saw her she was in a pretty bad way - crying and shaking - saying her head isn't right and that she just needs to sleep - also mentioning she could feel anxiety coming on too.

Strangely - she kept showing me her scars where she had once tried to commit suicide - but she reassured me she would never do it again.

She fell fast asleep and the next thing I get a message in the morning saying she doesn't want to see me till the afternoon. When I rang her to check if she was OK - she had driven a considerable distance (after barely sleeping) and she began questioning our relationship again - saying she was feeling pressure - and will call me later.

What the heck do I do here? I want to help but am afraid of putting this 'pressure' on her.

Sorry if I rambled a bit - I'm a bit upset.

Regards Scott

 

Posted 2/20/2010 5:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Scott. This forum is more for people who have bipolar but you seem to need some help now so let me try.

Everything she is going thru is all stuff i have done also. It doesnt matter how well the relationship is going, in her mind it will be completely screwed and going no where. Many of us here have to stay on meds because of this kind of issues. Racing thoughts, depression, suer high, everthing is ok, than messed up, than ok again. BTW When we go up and down like that quickly its called rapid cycling and it is emotionally and physicaly very rough.

You have to understand her mind feels 'right" to her, it all makes perfect sense. You can lover her even more and be perfection itself and it wont mean a thing. This isnt something you can 'love ' out of her. All the support you can give her will help but ultimatly you will have little inpact on how she thinks.

She will need time to get things sorted and settled so she can start living with this. It will require a lot of work on her part and yours. Meds will have to be tried and given time to see if they work and agree with her. She will have to decide if she "wants" to be helped, because if she isnt willing to try than there is nothing you can do.

I hope this helps you a bit. This is a question that you are ultimatly going to have to ask yourself. Is it worth it?. In the end only you can make that decision.

Good luck
Bill
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