feel like my world is crumbling..

 I don't know what to do anymore. I live in a small community where doctors are few and far between. I was diagnosed with bipolar two disoreder about two years ago, which is interesting to deal with. I have been with my husband for 20 years now. Which is difficult enough alone, but then add the feelings and emotions of BP to a bad marraige. Isn't a good mix. And I cann't seem to find a good doctor. Monday I went for a medication check and the lady that does this, whom is a Phycistrist, laughed at something I said. She said the way I said it was funny to her . It wasn't meant to be funny, I was serious, I had asked her for a second opionion I wanted to go see some one different and whom we have around here for that.. She not only didnt' give me this information, but laughed at me. When first diagnosed I was on Depercote and Seraqual, which worked great, but than with them I gained 100lbs, not good when you have a heart problem, cholesterol, tyroid, and high blood pressure. So I did some research and found Lamictial was the only medications out there that didn't cause weight gain.

I find that even if your on the right medications, you still need to have supportive doctor's which as I said we don't have around here. So you are stuck with who you get unless you travel two or more hours to see some one.

I would also recommend, until you get your life in order and cope with your illness, don't get into a relationship. And when you do, make sure this person is understanding, not like my hubby, whom seems to think its easy for me.. He does't get it. It gets mad at me, he yells, I cann't do anything or say anything right..So it just makes my living with BP worse..

I did file a report on that Phyitrist yesterday. But feel like crap that I had to do this. She put me in the position that I had no choice. And for some reason, I turn out to be the bad guy so to speak..

I am just reall frustrated and feed up. I am so tired of being sad, upset, and crying all the time. I just want to be happy and normal.. So I am new to this site and checking it out for my first time today. Thank you for all who read this and give me support.

Hi and welcome! I'm sorry your having a rough time, we've all been there in some form or another. We have all found some comfort and help through eachothers experiences and advice here, I hope the same for you.

Sometimes doctors are inconsiderate without meaning to be so. I seriously doubt that your doc meant to hurt your feelings. I also don't think that you should feel bad about filing the report; if something your doc does or says hurts you that much then they need to know about it.

I remember once several years ago I was at the dentist and was given a prescription for pain killers for a root canal. I did not want to take anything with acetamenophen in it as I had been drinking every day for about a year. I told the dentist that I was concerned about taking anything with acetamenophen and asked if he would prescribe something with ibuprophen or just codein instead of the standard vicodin. He laughed and said "Oh, you don't really need to worry about that. Unless your an alcoholic!" then more laughter. It cut me pretty deep. I accepted his prescription and probably damaged my liver.

The point is, it's better to tell your doc when they are insensitive so that they can learn from the mistake and so that you can get the information you need.

One last thought, part of my bipolar is that I get very offended, upset, angry, depressed, whatever, in response to very normal things that people say and do. It helps me when something upsets me to take a step back and say "They are not trying to make me feel this way." Take a deep breath, and try to calm down. I know it's not that easy, but it's a starting place!

Hope it helps!
tainted