Things are falling apart...fast

So, I stopped taking my meds because I'm worried about them hurting the baby. Today, I'm realizing that was NOT a good idea! I just found out we are being audited, which we can't afford in any way shape or form! I had to quit my job because of extreme morning sickness, which landed me in the ER with severe dehydration. We are already having issues paying bills...Plus, we're trying to figure out ways to save some more money for when the baby comes and this is not going to help. It feels like I am running head first into a full on manic episode, which I haven't had in months. I called my pdoc, but he can't get me in for two more weeks, I called my OB, but she can't get me in 'till the 11th. I can't take the same meds I was on because of the health risks for the baby, so I have to get into a doc in order to get on some new meds....this is so frustrating! I know now that I should have changed meds as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but hindsight in 20/20. My husband is still refusing to try to get out of deployment and stay here with the kids and I after I have the baby, in case the postpartum gets too bad, like last time. My father's health is getting worse and worse every day, I just sent my daughter to spend some of her summer vacation with them, so now I'm worried about her seeing one of his episodes and getting hurt from that, but can't afford to bring her back down here just yet and I am all alone with my son with no family or friends around. To top it all off, my son is teething....thou shall not kill thy teething child! I'm not quite sure what to do at this point in time. At least I haven't hit the wall yet and starting going off an everyone for every little thing, but I have started to clean EVERYTHING, which is not a good sign for my son and I. Because after I clean everything, I get bored....idle hands are the devils advocate for me. When I get bored, things get bad...I'm going to try to exercise and see if that helps anything calm down. ARGH!

I'm not sure what is going on with him, or anything else right now. I'm trying not to think about it too much, at least not until he gets home on Friday. I've asked that him and I have a long talk then, so that we can get all this figured out. I need a plan and he is not a planner. I know that I have reason to worry about these things, but that a lot of this is just simply hormones and the bi-polar. I've mowed the yard and cleaned quite a bit around the house, but now my son is getting ready to wake up from his nap, so I have to take a break from doing things. I've had a pretty good schedule going on for the past few months, but the pregnancy and being off my meds is starting to interrupt that. Now, I'm just trying to focus on keeping that schedule going, so as not to go too far into a manic stage. Thanks for being here.