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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 7/30/2010 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
I'm freaking and not exactly sure why! I want to laugh, cry, and scream all at once! I am completely exhausted and yet I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin...Nothing I'm doing is helping either...my husband is coming home tomorrow and the last thing I want is for him to have a welcoming home by me being in a mood. He's only going to be home for a week, then gone for three more weeks. This is so not the time to being doing this ****t! This is so frustrating, I haven't done this in forever! It's just a never ending cycle of hell and I just want it to go away and stay away. This is such bull****! I'm seriously thinking about going and buying a punching bag right now...I'm thinking that would help...now, if only I had some freaking money to get it. GRRRRR!
Posted 7/30/2010 2:38 AM (GMT 0)

 Sounds like a major mania or rapid cycling. Are you on any meds at all.  If not you need to get to a doc and get help. Wait, are you off your meds because of being pregnat? Sorry there are so many posts i m not remembering right.

  Bill

Posted 7/30/2010 3:56 AM (GMT 0)
It's fine. Yes I'm off meds 'cause of being pregnant. My doc wants me to get back on them, but I'm worried about the baby. She said there are safer drugs out there that I can be on, but I used a few "safer" drugs while I was breast feeding my son a year ago and they either didn't work at all or made things worse. I'm really not sure what to do at this point in time. I HATE feeling this way, but I don't want to take something that's going to harm my baby. But, the doctor also says that being under this much stress by not being on medication can cause birth defects and be harmful to the baby. So either way, there is a chance of my baby being harmed. Ain't life grand.
Posted 7/30/2010 4:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lindz - there are some meds that can be used in different trimesters. Some are OK at first, but not in the end and vice-versa. My pdoc thinks being off meds is a bad idea during pregnancy. Where a low dose can keep you stable with minimal risk to the baby. But if you are of meds and go totally nuts and need high dose of meds to keep you from harming yourself or the baby - then that's even higher risk of birth defect to the baby.

I am more affected by depression than mania. I can suffer through a depression without meds and it is miserable all around, but it's not dangerous to the baby. But if you are prone to mania or mixed episodes, you might be having real problems off meds. Make sense.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you have all the information you need to make informed decisions in your's and your baby's best interests.

I have a lot I can share about self-care. My email address is public, so you can send me a message if you want. Just include your username so I know who I'm talking to! :)
Posted 7/30/2010 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lindz,

I recently had to go off my meds b/c of a mistake from my insurance company--so I had to wean off everything b/c I couldn't pay for the meds. I am in the process of working my way back to my dosages and it's taking it's toll. So I can relate to the panic you are feeling. And the mood swings.

I know that for me when I get pregnant someday, I am going to go off my meds before trying to get pregnant and stay off of them until the baby is born/breast feeding done etc. But that is my personal choice. I know it's going to be a nightmare; no meds plus hormones cannot be a recipie for stability. But I plan to use the tools I learned in the support group I was in a few years ago. I should use these tools more in my daily life now, but I tend to lean on the meds (laziness on my part). Things like CBT, exercise, diet etc. Basically I plan to just try and make myself work harder to keep myself feeling well.

I'm not saying you're not working hard at all. I am sure you are. And I am sure I'm going to be exactly where you are at when my time comes. I am sure my "plans" are so much easier said than done! Do you see a therapist/or have any professional to talk to other than a GP or OBGYN? Are there any support groups in your area? I can't tell you how much the one I was in helped! Just meeting with people face to face each week and listening and supporting each other was a huge help.

Anyway, I am thinking of you and I hope things mellow out for you soon.

Hugs,
Mogs
Posted 7/30/2010 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your responses. I'm doing a little better today. When I was pregnant with my son I went off my meds and although I had a few rough patches, my moods were actually better. I didn't go into these big drawn out depression or manic states, I mean a still had them, but they were nowhere near as severe as when I wasn't pregnant and off my medications. I have been doing all of my "exercises" that I have learned to help me through my rough patches, but they have only helped for maybe a day, then I'm going right back to my mixed moods, it what it seems to be to me. I had rapid cycling and mixed moods after I had my son also. I don't know if things are going differently this time because of the added stress of being audited and knowing my husband won't be here after I have the baby and the fact we are bran spanking new to the area, therefore I have no friends here yet. He is in the Navy and will be on deployment. I have an OBGYN and PDOC, although my pdoc is a military one and isn't all that great, in my opinion. Everyone is saying I can't be here alone, 'cause of the inevitable Postpartum Depression issues, but It's looking like I'm going to have to suck it up and deal with it. I haven't been to any Bi-Polar support groups. I've looked into them, but have just never gone, I'm not sure why. I'm just hoping that my moods level out soon and go back to how I was when I was pregnant with my son. Maybe I will look into some safer drugs and support groups, just in case things don't get better fairly soon. Thank you again.
Posted 7/30/2010 8:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Lindz I found a local DBSA group in my area, and went to a few meetings, and they were extremely helpful, insightful and relatable. The only reason I had stopped going is because they were held on the same nights as some other activities that I wanted to get involved with. But I def recommend at least trying one out - and they're free to attend. And sometimes the snacks are delish :)
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