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You will not win

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 8/4/2010 7:30 PM (GMT 0)
I am in control, you are not. I have two children, a husband, and other family and friends depending on me. I have overcome you before and I WILL do it again! You are strong, but I am stronger; I've proven that time and time again. YOU WILL NOT TAKE CONTROL OF ME AGAIN!

These felling are just that, feelings, nothing more. Feelings come and go. I will make you go away.
Posted 8/4/2010 7:36 PM (GMT 0)

GOLD STAR TO YOU!! That's awesome, thanks for sharing and I am going to use those words to encourage me through this deep depression.

Hugs,

Mogs

Posted 8/4/2010 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
Is this always a healthy attitude? To fight with yourself?

Or should we acknowledge it, accept it, and take action to stay healthy?

We are biochemical beings. We can't hate neurotransmitters into balance. Or can we?
Posted 8/5/2010 2:58 AM (GMT 0)

  I go for acceptance, but if you need to fight than by all means fight. Its better than sitting around wishing things were different and not doing a darn thing about it.

  However sooner or later all the fighting leads to acceptance. Acceptance isnt defeat, it just means you accept this is who and what you are. Acceptance leads to a whole new understanding of this desease, acceptance leads to you looking for ways to live with this and find things that you need to avoid.

   Either way, stay in the fight.

   Bill

Posted 8/5/2010 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
I'm glad it helped you Mogs. No, tortoise11, it's not always a healthy behavior, but when all else fails, sometimes you just have to revert to some old fashioned self talk. Things have been pretty erratic around here lately and although I've tried all my normal exercises, things just aren't getting better.
Posted 8/5/2010 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
I never said it was wrong. I think I've mentioned in other posts, I'm not yet to acceptance.

I try to not fight the disease.

But I DO fight so that I don't act (as much, or as badly) on the impulses - to shop, stay up way to late, mope, have caffiene, etc.

Just something to think about. Is there right and wrong. Well... NO! :D
Posted 8/5/2010 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Bill. I wish I could accept this is who and how I am, but I'm just not ready to. I like being in control and I guess I'm either too stubborn or stupid to come to terms with this just yet. I don't like being how I am and I've gotten used to "faking" it for so many years I'm not sure that I really know anything about this disease yet. I've watched my oldest brother lose everything (family, friends, houses, cars, etc.) because of his Bi-Polar and PTSD and I just refuse to end up like that and blame all my wrong doings on my issues, like he has. I learned from my dad, who is one of the most stubborn ba*****s out there, that fighting can get you a long way in life and i have seen him prosper in so many ways from it. I guess I just don't know how to give up. I'm not saying that accepting this is giving up, I'm just trying to say that I'm not willing to let this rule my life. Sorry, I'm not the best at wording things. I see so many other people out there who have been through things in life that are 10 times worse than what I've been through and they never seem to falter. I guess I still wish I could be that way.
I understand what you're saying tortoise. :)
Posted 8/5/2010 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
Be perfectly imperfect. I am glad you don't know how to give up. It kept you alive all these years, a survival skill, and keeps you going. A fighting spirit is lively, creative, self-directive, expressive, adventurous! See the positive reflections in the negatives... These traits are there in you.

Take care.
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