about me

Hi i have bipolar, i am 29 year old and a stay at home mom becasue i can keep a job. I'm married to a great guy and have 2 boys 5 and 3. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety since a was a kid. I try to kill myself in 3 grade and my graund counsler told my mom and dad not to worrie it was just because they were getting divorce. I had ups and down my hole like. i ran a way from home jump out of cars hit thing had sex alot when i was on a high and when i had i low i would not get out of bed and i did nothing but sleep and want it to be alone. I finnal had some one see some thing was wrong with me and i got help the docs i seen and thought in was depression and treated me for that. last year i finnal found a doc that seen it was more and said it was bipolar i am doing a littel better not have as many high and low but still not better. I been in a low for a few weeks now and haven't been able to do anything but sleep my house is a mess because i just lay a round and let my boys do want they want. they are the only reason i get out of bed. a few day ago my doc put me on gabapentin and i am not sure if it works. I am also on lamotrigine 200 mg. i am under so much stress that i don't think i will know if any meds work in tell i can get the stress level down. I am going for ssi but it will take a year to get a hearing so money is well we have none and i feel it all because of me. my kids are stuffing be cause they have to see me like this and it hurts so much. i just want to be a good mom and wife and i am not sure if i will every be thanks for listening it feels good just to get it off my chest.

  Hi and welcome. Yea, meds suck. I wish i could go get a test that said, you need .5 mg of medication A, 1.5 mg of medication B, and take some fish oil and you will be all fine. But alas it isnt like that.

   I have allways said i have been very lucky to suffer the mania side of the house. I have never wanted to die when i am manic. I might want to paint the house, walk the dog, paint a picture, fold my cloths, and have sex all at the same time, but it is loads better than being depressed.

  Good luck and keep posting.  We are here to listen and offer support.

   Bill