Melancholy

What a terrible mind set to be in. Have you ever sat in bed and just thought that there was nothing to truly look forward to in the future? I mean I count my blessings now on what I do have but there's nothing to look forward too-nothing i'm excited about. On my days off, I'm so tired I do nothing.

My watercolors are all set up on my desk but I can't get up the courage to paint again after months of not doing it. A couple of things I was looking forward to...the possibility of a friend, the possibility of moving out in the desert, a job promotion...all fell through.

My son is doing ecstacy and staying up all night on the weekends and sleeping all day but he is18 now and just came to live with me last year and I want him to have the freedom his meth-addicted,control freak of a dad never gave him.

Sorry to sound so blue. I will keep on trudging. Thanks so much for being there. I promise I will get better and start being more positive.

Thanks Bill...I don't know how I'm going to make it to work tonight...but I will hold it together like you said.

I don't know what to say....the darkness is so deep sometimes. Sometimes I just start "doing" and then the "reason"comes later...
-dB

IT IS..............EXACTLY. THE DOING IS EVERYTHING. KEEP DOING. 1 THING AT A TIME. JAMIE.

yes. yes. yes. keep strong RL. jamie