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Is Bipolar My Fault?

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 3/24/2011 7:01 PM (GMT 0)
I did a tarot card pull this morning and asked my angels to be around me and guide me toward pulling the correct card for the day. I pulled the nine of swords which is the worst card in the deck. It means self-imposed illness and misery. So I pulled a yes and no card and asked the angels if bipolar disorder was my fault and I got the yes card. I repeated the question and got the yes card. Then I asked if my bipolar were due to the fact that I did some awful things as a teen ager like stealing, drinking a lot etc. I also had to give pets away because I couldn't take care of them. The card also means cruelty, mental torment and anguish.

I thought I was getting better. I felt better until I pulled that card. The cards and angels have been helping me. Now I wonder if indeed because of my past bad actions I caused bipolar to manifest. I am very upset.

I hear the angels saying awful things to me now in my head.

I'm sorry, I don't know where to turn. I thought I was so much better today and on the mend. I hate myself now. All because of that card.

I have to work tonight. Without some spiritual being to connect to I am doomed. Now the angels are blaming me and they are hating me. I hear their love too but now I don' t know which voice is real.

Do we just comfort ourselves by saying bipolar is genetic, or chemical imbalance, or environment, (my parents. Did it) to make ourselves feel better. When really we caused it by being bad people, selfish people. I didn't think I was that bad...in fact I was very loving at times but maybe I wasn't?
Posted 3/24/2011 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
 

  Remember Red, not just angels can speak to us from the other side. Demons and bad sprits can also come in and tell us things to hurt us.

  

   Take your tarot with a grain of salt. WHat does your gut tell you? Are you at fault or not? Personally i believe we are what god made us, and that we have to accept our limitations if we are to grow as people.

   I cant tell you that tarot is bunk, or that it isnt. I don;t know. I do know that i am allways suspicious of anything that tries to convince me that it is right 100% of the time.  Take this time and relax, let your mind shead the guilt you obvisously have over your youth. You have to forgive yourself first.

  Here is a Buddha quote that i think you need to hear.

   " You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
Buddha

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/buddha_3.html#ixzz1HYR52Iuu

 

   Sorry about the brainy quote thing at the bottom. But really red, this is true. You need to love yourself, forgive yourself, then you can move on you your path in life.

   Bill

Posted 3/26/2011 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
yep to that happy bill!!! as i say i don't have bi-polar affective disorder type 1, rather i live with it. jamie
Posted 4/1/2011 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
I'm new to this, i'm just reading, taking it all in, & trying to keep up with the comments & questions. I really like the support, that you are giving to the people that need help. I also have deppression, & it's my 1st time on here. And i moved up here, & lost my therapist, but still get my meds., so i wanted to find this site, because i need the support. I have other issues also, i have ADD, OCD, Anxiety, & i'm on suboxene, so it's not always easy for me, but i've been working on myself for yrs., & yrs. now, so i at least know how to deal with, & i had to learn, how to ask for help, & to talk, is my medicine. Along with exercise, herbs, vitimins, pray, & staying on a busy schedule, keeps me in check, i hope i didn't write anything wrong, or write to much. I hope i can make some friends, with the same issues as me. And have people to talk to, because, i learned along time ago, that my problems are mine.  Normal people that i have for friends & family, i would never tell them about my issues, thats what my therapist & Healingwell.com is for. What i say here, stays here, Thankyou, i hope to get some feedback, even if it doesn't relate to what i wrote. So i can feel a part of, hopefully my new site that i found blush
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