went off lithium and then went back on

It has been a roller coaster these past two weeks.  I am a severe bi-polaer and wanted to get off lithium and Geodon.  I din't think that they were working.  Was I ever wrong!  It has been hell gettig off of the lithium and I have have been Queen "B" for the past two weeks.  I finally went into the doctor yesterday.  I put my back on lithium and Welbutrin.  I can't sleep and I am having constant panic attacks.  I think the one who is sufferig the most is my daughter.  She is extremely volatile and any thing sets her off.  Sh is also bi-polar.  My youngest who is bipolar just hides.  My oldest who is Asperger's doesn't want want to take sides.  I feel like my husband doen;t understand and just wants things to be better.  Help!!!!!

P.s. I used to think my kids were add when I thought I was add. I used to think my kids were depressed when I was. But kids are kids. I will not let my teen get on psyche meds bc it will harm his brain. Why are so many kids these days being over diagnosed with bipolar? No kids had bipolar when I was growing up.

I agree with you Precious Gem.

I was one of those lazy, inconsistent, self-absorbed moms who fed their kids microwaved chicken nuggets and sugary juice boxes.

I think there are very few people equipped to be parents. It's easy to get pregnant. It's hard to be a parent especially if you are ignorant of so many things.

Why aren't parenting skills taught in school? Why are so many parents so caught up in their own illnesses and child-hood drama that they focus on themselves instead of their kids? I was this way. I was also a beer bingeing alcoholic. Now I have 2 1/2 years sober.

Thank god I got my child off adderall that the teacher insisted he be on. Funny how he 'magically' outgrew it.

Yes...we are all struggling because our values are mixed up. It's all about looks and money and getting ahead. It's not working anymore. Wake up world!

Keep your kids in sports. My teen is now snorting coke and developing a real problem and one of the reasons I believe is that he wasn't allowed to play football this year due to poor grades. That is incomprehensible. What do playing sports and having a physical outlet have to do with school? Nutrition is so important. I wish I could be a mom again when my kids were little knowing what I know now. But the truth is I knew better then and just didn't want to do it.

And we may yet get blasted!

However, enough of the 'Bipolar Whine', and I am just as guilty as everyone else here who does it.

I'm always trying to make myself happy whether I'm conscious of it or not. I think everyone is. And what I've discovered is happiness comes from doing what we need to do, instead of what we want to do.

It comes to us in small ways. It is loving who we are and what we have in this very moment instead of fantasizing about...more or different things or ways to be happier. Recognizing that it is pretty good right here.

Chopping vegetables for a salad is very pleasing. Seeing all the colors and hearing the chop against the wood planks. But instead, we opt for a fast food burger because salad making takes too much time. Then we wonder why we have mood swings the next day or just don't feel good. Bipolar is the ' I just don't feel good 'disease' when it's totally normal to have off days...no one can be happy all the time. If we were happy all the time how would we know what happiness was. We can't know it if we don't have the opposite.

I don't know anymore if I want to have Bipolar but it may be too late for me to choose not to have it. It is very hard to get rid of illness when it has become physical in the body. I have heard that we create our own illness. We create our own lives through our thoughts and then our actions. I wish I had never been dxed as Bipolar because I have wasted so much energy and time on this disease.

But you are right Precious...all we have is today and we can do our best with it. That's all we can do. I hope everyone feels the love I am sending out to right now. We are all going to be o.k. Because we already are.