Leave my bipolar wife?

We met 11 yrs ago, married for 10 yrs, 2 children (8 and 5). She was diagnosed 4 yrs ago (though with hind-sight has displayed symptoms since I have known her), attempted suicide and hospitalized 3 yrs ago, on lithium 2 yrs ago, stopped taking meds and had a trip to ER for cutting (probably over-reaction on my part), started lithium again - not as volitile, but very unhappy, this yr on no meds, no suicide attempts, but about 2 weeks of severe cutting "to feel something"

I have tried to stay and support, but I am at the end of my rope... she promises to stop drinking, but can't or won't (it is tough, I am a drinker too, and when she begs I give in), she swears she is happy and does not want to loose the family, but her bipolar makes me wonder.

We almost divorced last year, went to counciling and worked things out... things were good until this winter (she is very seasonably affected) The last cutting incident, she picked up the children from school, felt the urge to cut so strongly that she drugged the kids with cough medicine and started cutting...I happened to come home and find her in shambles. I know she does not want to hurt the kids, but clearly my alarm bells are ringing. I had a solo intervention (she resents me for alerting her family to the diagnosis after the second ER trip) and she agreed to start meds, find a new psychiatrist, and stop drinking... she did none of these things, I brought up seperation and she left, blamed me, and stayed at a hotel for a night. She came home and promised to stop drinking and find a talk doc, but will not take meds... she has been dry for almost a week, no movement on the talk doc.

I do love her, but I do not like her anymore. She thinks I only think about the bad memories and not the good. Probably true, to some extint, but the"bad" memories involve her suicide attempt and the image of her using a razor to cut herself while I begged her to stop, I find it hard to get these incidents out of my mind.

I dont know if I stay to support her, while I become less happy/more worried about the situation, or if it is better to make a break now, with the hopes that she can find a someone to support her in a better way... I feel like the past 4 yrs have really left me cynical and not the friend that I once was... I also worry about the effect on my kids as they grow and understand more every day.

Any Thoughts?

 Tortoise is right. She needs to get treatment, and if she wont then she is well and truely lost to you. In the end she has to own bipolar, or it will completely own her.

  I wake up every day with a huge respect for what this desease can do to me if i let it get out of hand. I take my meds, use a mood chart, and try very very hard to not lie to myself and say everything is ok.

  I also had to give up some things that i hated to give up, but had to to be able to live a happy, normal life.

  But the kids come first. They need to be safe and secure. ANd if she is going so far as to drug them to cut, she is out of control. But if she wont admit it then the state has to get involved.

  Sorry, but you have some tough choices coming in your life. I hope you find the right path to follow.

  Bill