First time posting here and to be honest not sure if this is even the right spot. But I am posting this in this category mainly due to the fact my wife has been diagnosed with Bi Polar and this may or may not be a situation dealing with this.
But anywho. I have been with my wife for 6 years and married for almost 3. Things are wonderful for the most part, just unfortunately dealing with any stressful situations are very difficult.
The most recent scenerio is this. 2 weeks ago, we have been evicted from our home, due to the fact i was fired from my job and despite searches, unable to find a new one up till recently. My wife initially wanted us to go into a shelter, but being as though we have a 4 year old son, I was against this. Instead we got news that my father who lives out of state was willing to help us out financially.
Now here's where things get tricky. During our homeless stinct, we first started to stay at her fathers house. Well one night unfortunately (and this man also deals with a mental illness) the three of us (myself, my wife and him) had a falling out. Some conversation came out about our son and resulted in us being told we were bad parents, which than resulted in my wife backlashing (which surprisingly very reasonable backlashing compared to other rage times ive seen her have) and than having her dad tell us that we needed to get the **** out of his house. This being at about 10:30 at night when our son was in bed trying to go to sleep. Luckily though my mother lived down the street, i got on the phone and she came over to help us get our things and stay down at her place.
Now being as tho this happened, my father got wind of this and decided to call my wifes parents. Unfortunately this however created a little war. When i got the phonecall from my dad telling me what he did, my wifes cell phone went off from her mother calling and telling her. Well once my wife got a phone call she started yelling and calling my dad every name in the book and than i had my father in my ear telling me that if I couldnt control her he was not going to help us.
Well after a day, my mother gets an email saying that my father wanted my wife to apologize to him or he would not help us out.
**Quick back history of my dad and my wife before this goes further. My dad was never really there for me except for when it was convienient and unfortunately throughout the years him and my wife have always butted heads. Little comments on face book, comments he'll make the one time of year he comes home, and she'll get mad at him.. it's a never ending battle.
But back on track. My mother sits us down and explains to both my wife and i that she talked to my dad and he claims all he wants is for us to get a long and have a chit chat with my wife and get an apology out of her for the names she called him in the background. Well that did not go well with my wife, first thing she did is yell and scream about this, insult me, hell she even went as far as threatening to divorce me because she feels cornered. Now this conversation did get very heated and it came down to my mother telling her to swallow her pride, talk to the man, so that way our son will have a home to live in again. She is refusing due to the fact she is taking this personal and will not bend. Of course during the fight she brought up how my father treats her like dirt and than I proceeded to tell her that I know hes not perfect nor am i sticking up for him but at least he's trying to do something to help and while was was getting along with her dad again i told her that she needed to look at the fact that her dad threw us out and at least mine is trying to provide us the money so our son isnt sleeping on a couch.
Now i'm trying whatever i need to.. I emailed my dad just begging him to please end this feud, don't worry about the apology and just help his grandson.
But i guess where this is going is how can I help my wife try to understand that she needs to put our son first. she needs to not be so focused on one issue and try to look at the big picture that our son needs us right now.
i'm not trying to put this all on her, i've dealt with the bi polar for the last 6 years, i'm learning to handle things better with her but while i'm trying to work with all the parties here i just want her to stop being so angry and not put herself first right now.
Sorry this was horribly long and I do apologize if this doesnt belong here.