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accidental hit

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Posted 7/12/2011 8:33 AM (GMT 0)

 i really messed up today though. I accidently hit my fiance, it was like a play hit but it was hard and i feel so bad now  I dont know what happend. I was abused my entire life and then that happend a week after getting out of the hospital. what the heck. He said it was fine, but i feel terrible. What should i do to prevent it from ever ever happening again. I dont see myself ever out of anger, but what are some precautions i should take because rite now i feel like a monster. What could i do to make it up to him?

Posted 7/12/2011 11:41 AM (GMT 0)
I know as someone who has been mentally abused, it's simple. Don't ever do it again. Easier said than done. You need to get and stick with treatment.

I know that as a spouse of an abuser, that there is nothing worse than being begged for and giving forgiveness, just to have the same exact thing happen again. In my case though, there was no begging, it was just a passive plea, but it happened again.

It builds up to a breaking point. We either leave, get sick in some way or have some other massive reaction. It is a poor prospect for both. While you do have free will, you are sick and the partner just cant grasp why, if you are really sorry, you turn around and do it again (my particular dilemma). They may say they understand, but it eats away at the understanding over time.

That's the true tragedy of mental illness and disorders.

I know for me, that it has built up to a point where even if she tries extremely hard that 1% of the time that she fails, nullifies the other 99%. If it hasn't already, don't let it get to that extreme. I know for me, actions speak FAR louder than words.

There is no easy solution.
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