Borderline is Activated

My borderline is playing up and it is kinda destabilising my bipolar. If you say there is no reason to be sorry - well there kinda is... I kinda borderlined at someone in chat this morning. But as soon as I realised it, I had my first bath in two days... gawd I stunk!.... and got dressed... and went for a walk in our glorious weather, which instantly made me feel a lot better just in itself and then I made myself get out in the car and go to the shops and buy myself something. I bought markers, art paper and colouring in pencils. I tried on 3 dresses at the op shop, none fitted, but I found an interesting dvd for $2 which I bought. I hate spending money when I'm poor!!! Anyhoo, I figured it was important to push myself to treat myself and I came in under my $20 limit. I then went to check out petrol, to see where is the cheapest place atm, and went for a bit of a drive around the neighbourhood before coming home. Yeah, I came straight back to the computer, my teddy bear, but I'm going to try to do some drawing or some housework or try to push myself to watch the dvd. I'm very vulnerable atm and just need to take little steps.

thank you my good friend. I went back into chat to apologise to the person, and I feel good about that. I'm still going in and out of chat and I'm still in a shakey place but I am strengthening. thanks for your support groover! :)

Post Edited (living well) : 8/27/2011 10:32:13 PM (GMT-6)

oh jamie, I'm not good mate. I'm okay but it is uncomfy. I just have to suck it up. It is the nature of the beast when we have what we have. I feel so unable to perform basic tasks, organise myself, think more broadly than just "little jade's world". I have no motivation. I feel sensitive and emotionally reactive. I'm going to push myself but balance that with resting. Getting through tomorrow seems an overwhelming task but I will do it moment by moment.

awesome! Yay for baby steps! Sometimes they are very difficult to do.

should lick in for ya soon. jamie