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help! 3yr old bipolar???

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 3/31/2005 5:45 AM (GMT 0)

At 1 yr. old I had a deep feeling that something was wrong with my daughter. Many mood swings, hurting herself, night terror, not eating well, hurting others, and believes she is the boss of everyone. I talked to her doctors who mention ADHD and medicating her. I decided against meds and worked with he.

I now have another child who is 13 mo. I am not sure what to do with my oldest (now 3). She has several mood swings that sometimes are set off by nothing.

I.E. today, she woke up at 7am, got into bed with me and I got up at eight. Woke her, told her it was time to eat. Got her dressed (which is a fight on its own), and asked he what she wanted for breakfast. She said chicken. I told her no, cereal or eggs. She said cereal and picked the one she wanted a told me to put milk in it. I said ok and told her to sit down why I make it. Gave her the cereal she started yelling at me that she didn’t want cereal. Told her to eat it or she would have to wait until lunchtime...she tossed the bowl on the floor. It broke. I told her to go to the corner. She started yelling, came over, and kicked me leaving a bruise. I walked away and she started banging her head on the wall for about 10mins. Then stopped, tried to go into her sister's room, but I latched the door. Therefore, she could not get in. She yelled, beatted, and kicked on the door for 30mins. Then she laid in the hallway for 30min screaming and kicking the walls. Next came in my room and started throwing stuff round my room. I took a toy robot from her. She calmed down instantly for 30 seconds, and then started crying as if I hurt her feelings, for about 10min. Then stopped went to the living room to watch TV. 10 min was screaming and kicking on the couch for no reason I could see. This is almost a daily routine.

Two weeks ago I cooked chicken nuggets told her they were very hot to wait for me to bring them to her, when I wasn’t looking she took one brought it to her baby sister, who started screaming. I took the nugget away and asked my three-year-old why she gave her sister a hot nugget She replied "I wanted to burn her."

Later that day she started beating her sister with a hanger. When I took the hanger away, she bit me then started crying as if I hurt her feelings.

I do not know what to do anymore. I feel as if I am failing as a parent. I cannot work because no day care will take her. I spend 2xs the amount of time with her than her sister. Her sister will be starting day care soon because I fear what my 3yr old will do. I keep a steady routine. I cannot leave the house because she is just as bad anywhere else. She will stop in the middle of an isle and start screaming. Also does not want anyone else to come down the isles. If you try to pick her up she will kick and bite. Also I have the baby, I’m trying to hold or watch. No one wants to watch her.

I have tried time outs, locking in room, taking away TV, toys. She is on a very strick diet low sugar, low carbs, I've tried spanking...I think she may be bi polar her father my ex husband is, has been since 5 started medicated treatment 1 year ago.... Is it ok to medicate your child when you feel like you cant handle the child or that the child cant handle themselves??? I made a physiatrist appt last month but its not until April 29, I think I need help now!

ANY ADVISE, PLEASE ?

Posted 3/31/2005 5:46 AM (GMT 0)
p.s can send reply to my e-mail if want to [email protected]
Posted 3/31/2005 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
11584, WHEW!You Do have a lot on your plate!!!!As the mother of a 25 year old bipolar son, who wasn't diagnosed as such til he was 18, I do understand some of your pain and worry.I haven't heard of a child so young being diagnosed as bipolar, but that's just my experience.My son was always "different"As he is my first, I didn't really have a way of knowing if I was over protective/harping, or if it was really a case of being something wrong.I just knew the kid NEVER wanted to stop, while playing with his same age cousins, he would be the first to start playing and play long after all others were worn down.And as far as the mistreatment of siblings, when his brother came along, he seemed to love and care for him. But I found out years later that he did mean things on the sly.He did and still does love his brother, but would "lose it"in those temper things and hurt him.But the whole topic of bipolar is more out there now, as opposed to years ago. My ex also is bipolar, I believe, but he is in constant denial and seeks no help.My ex's grandfather died in a mental institution, so I believe these things are most defintely genetic.But trying to get those involved to go for help, is tough.I don't mean to sound defeated and depressing, but we as the normal(what IS normal???haha)get to be sideline viewers of a mighty strange life play!Yes, start searching for professional help, and don't get disheartened if you have to see more than one.Try and keep a sense of humor/perspective on the whole long range picture.And most defintely follow the saying'don't sweat the small stuff'...and get support from this site and any other you can find NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill)can give you some info.Take care and take a deep breath!
Posted 4/1/2005 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry about you problems christine. I imagine it is very difficult. I had a co-worker who's son seems very much like your daughter. He is mostly (with a few bad episodes here and there) on risperdal and (some adhd medication)

Just to give and idea, he hit my co-worker with a bat, there are dents in his wall, he jumped out the window of a second story building 5 times in one hour.

She's had her hands full and I can only imagine hers and your frustration right not. I think you are at the first step and I wish you could have got in sooner. I would recommend a child psychologist as well. You can maybe ask to be put in on a cancellation list.

I hope things get better for you.
Posted 4/1/2005 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
today i called the child psychologist and had her put on the cancellation list....we also went and seen he regular doctor and this woman looked at me like i was nuts...so i'm going to barrow a video camera, i have a voice recorder and type up daily sheets stating activities, what she eats,drinks, what if anything triggers her rages.....and i am going to continue to gather as much info as possible. im hoping that the child psycoligist she is going to see doesn't think i'm nuts as well. my soon to be ex husband now 25 has been dealing with this monster since he was 5-6 yrs old just not medicated until a year ago....unfortunatly he wont stick to his meds or daily rotine, is very depressed, hurts himself, belives that coke works better that abilify, and i finally had to leave for the sake of my children. my mother is bipolar and turn to alcohol, if my 3yr old is i hope i can help herself manage this without dringing or doing drugs in the future also i want another child in the future but will not have anymore for fear she will hurt and infant severly...but im only 21 so i guess i still have time........everyone thanxs for listening,..... Christine11584
Posted 4/1/2005 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Christine, I wish I had had the foresite to think of videoing some things!!!You seem very smart for a woman of just 21, and ready to tackle your challenges.With a husband(soon to be ex)that's bipolar, a mother and a son who is possibly so, you are doing the right thing to' gather up troops'to help!I dealt with my past in a passive way. NOT smart!Become active, and search for any and all info!Best of luck and continue to post here...we care....
Posted 4/1/2005 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
thank you!!
Posted 4/1/2005 6:34 PM (GMT 0)
I AM 54 YEARS OLD. I WAS DIAGNOSED BI-POLAR WHEN I WAS IN MY LATE 40'S. I BELIEVE I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN BI-POLAR. WHEN I WAS A CHILD, NO ONE NEW ABOUT ADHD OR BI-POLAR. I WAS HIT WITH THE BELT ON A REGULAR BASIS BY MY MOTHER. AT SCHOOL MY MOTHER WAS GIVEN POOR REPORTS AND WAS TOLD REGULARLY THAT I WAS MISCHIEVIOUS, RUDE, SOMETIMES JUST OUT OF CONTROL. I WAS MARRIED AT 18 YEARS OLD, I HAD A CHILD AT 19. OF COURSE THE MARRIAGE DIDN'T WORK. I THEN MARRIED AT AGE 33, AND THAT MARRIAGE DIDN'T WORK. I AM NOW MARRIED AGAIN, AND NOW THAT I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED AND I AM ON MEDICATION, I FEEL LIKE I AM NORMAL. YOUR CHILD DOESN'T FEEL NORMAL. SHE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION, SHE NEEDS TO BE DIAGNOSED RIGHT, AND SHE NEEDS MEDS SO SHE CAN FEEL NORMAL.
GOOD LUCK, PATTYCLAIR
Posted 4/2/2005 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
pattyclair thank you...i agree
Posted 4/6/2005 11:54 PM (GMT 0)

Pattyclaire, your childhood echoes mine!  I was married at 18 after being physically and emotionally abused/neglected always in trouble at school (bored!), into drugs and alchohol, promiscuous, married again at 20, cheated on him after 6 months, then moved to Dallas.  More failed relationships, finally got on lithium and decided to put myself through nursing school while living alone on 8$ an hour.  Got out with straight A's, went to work and met my husband in '93.  Got married a year later and put him through hell, due to quitting my meds in school.  10 years later, serious about meds.  Now doing great and he loves it!

Christine, I am concerned about your daughter, I was like that, too, except when I threw a fit, I got beaten, so I tried to keep it in.  I started hurting myself becuase I was not allowed to be angry.  I remember having night terrors way back when I was 2, my mom said it was almost from birth.  I was mean to other kids, couldn't get along with anybody.

I believe there is something very wrong with your daughter.  Does she have nightmares?  Is she also clingy with you when not throwing a fit?  Is she antisocial with other kids?

I do believe she needs to be medicated, she is obviously miserable, poor thing.  Even worse for children, they don't understand they may be ill.  I believe serious mental illness has definite indications in childhood, it's just that most parents think it's a "stage" or attribute it to just being kids.  I would definitely get her help.  She is beyond any type of discipline at this point.  Keep us posted, OK?  Good luck! 


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