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Posted 1/12/2012 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
I am struggling badly this week.  As patient as my fiance is we sat down last night and talked and he told me that the last three months of our relationship have been hell on him and if something doesn't change soon he's gone...ouch.  I was up and down all day yesterday and I know a lot of it is external factors (strained relationship with my mother and meeting my biological dad for the first time in nearly 24 yrs and my position getting cut at work as of tomorrow).  I only got three hours of sleep last night as I just layed in bed crying.  Think I am going to leave work early today to get some sleep...grrr...Any pointers on how to juggle this all and still function would be greatly appreciated... confused cry
Posted 1/12/2012 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
I've had that conversation more than once. It is scary!  Does he undestand this is temporary?
Posted 1/12/2012 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
He says he understands...what I am struggling with mostly is the way that he approaches it...a lot of times I hear "I don't think you understand" or "Come on baby its common sense" or "Your so off, whats going on" over and over to the point that even if I am having a good day by the time I have heard it for the tenth time Im already starting on a downward spiral...I am going home at noon to take a nap (scheduled it perfectly so my four year old will be able to snuggle mommy and take her nap with me today...we both need that time) Hopefully that helps..not sure what else to do n e more...had some pretty irrational thoughts last night...sigh...idk n e more.
Posted 1/12/2012 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Wow hun, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. Are you seeing a therapist at all; they would be best to consult about all of this asap.

I am experiencing something a bit similar right now. All these different things on my plate has landed me into a deep depressive episode and as a result my anxiety is really high trying to keep my head above water with it all.

So here is what I am doing.....I have not been in counseling for several months so I just got off the phone to make an appt. Therapy is so important in times like this especially and I know I have to get into therapy asap. I am staying away from alcohol. I am taking my meds each day, on time and my nightime meds are giving me the rest I need, although since all of this in this past week for me, I have been going to bed at least 1 or 2 hours earlier to get extra rest. I am going to work out after work today. I am using my lunch to go onto HW and to journal and update my mood chart. You need to take extra special care of yourself right now and do all you can do to keep things as stable as possible in the middle of this mess.

Take walks outside, journal, use therapy or even distress lines. Call a friend for support. If you are going to talk through what happened with your fiance, maybe write things down for yourself so you can focus on speaking from your heart in a calm way to get your points across. I can't imagine he is ready to walk away considering all that you have been through lately. He has to recognize that all that has happened has led to your unstability and that you are doing your best, but you are suffering. Love, comfort and support will go a long way to getting you through this. I know it's so hard on our partners, but for those of us who work so hard on getting well and staying well, I think there is a way to be there for each other.

Just make sure you are getting as much professional help as possible. Drink lots of water and do some deep breathing or yoga :)

Hugs,
Keep us posted.
Mogs
Posted 1/12/2012 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like he is trying to FIX you. It can be a long term relationship problem. BUT, an immediate solution is to find ways he can help. There's a great book "Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder" that can help. It's an inexpensive book and you can always see if you can get it from your local library.

Couples counseling can be surprisingly helpful. My fiance definitely had wet feet about couples counseling. I can tell a difference in 3 couple appointments. They really help my therapist assess the situation and helps with my individual appointments.

Exercise helps too! :)
Posted 1/13/2012 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
I have started counseling and that is helping a lot..thank you for the suggestion.  I broke down and got a gym membership.  I have equipment at home but I always find a million other things I could be doing and this way it gives me a little "me" time to leave the house and not have other distractions.  My fiance is leaving for a fishing trip for the weekend...mixed feelings about that.  I think right now with the stress that we have both been under he does need to get away and we need a break from each other....only thing is I will be left home with our two kids, his nephew (who I agreed to babysit before I knew he was leaving) the puppy and a house that could use a good cleaning.  Not to mention it is our oldest daughters birthday tomorrow and I feel frustrated that he is choosing to go fishing instead of being home.  When I bring it up to him he just says he will celebrate it with her when we have her party in a few weeks.  I think he is being inconsiderate...am I off base?  Also with me losing my job as of this afternoon it is scary for me that he is going on a trip when we don't really have the means for him to do so...only issue is when I was not on my medication I have had a history of making him feel bad about leaving for weekends and so I feel if I adress these concerns with him it will only seem like I am trying to do the same thing all over again... 
Posted 1/13/2012 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you got the counseling, especially with losing your job.

I don't think you're off base at all about him choosing this trip over your daughters birthday at all. I would be hurt by that.

I know my bf and I had a real struggle for the first two years of our relationship because I was upset when he left to do things. It was my anxiety and insecurity mostly but also I was upset when he would leave when I was suffering with my symptoms. I felt like he chose whatever-else over me. I worked through that somehow.

He and I are in therapy together. He has anger issues and we started the therapy almost a year ago. Small progress but still trying to get there.

Good for you for joining the gym. I worked out yesterday and since I had been deeply depressed for over a week, the workout has me feeling soooo much better today. I am going again after work and working out again tomorrow, so I really believe that is great for you.

Sounds like you have a very busy weekend. Can a friend help you out if you get overwhelmed?

Hugs,
Mogs
Posted 1/13/2012 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
I called a friend and she is gonna come and stay with me this weekend....can tell Im definately on a swing upward...cant stop smiling having a great (a bit too good considering the circumstances) day getting a lot done and it feels good to be happy...just preparing myself because I know what comes next...called the doc...thinkin my meds need a serious adjustment
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