Posted 2/14/2012 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Me again...still waiting for the next two weeks to come and go so my wife can get in to see her doctor. This doc ticks me off. He diagnosed her two years ago with BP. We got pregnant. Now she is worse than two years ago and he has her waiting a total of 8 weeks to see her and put her on new meds.
Anyways, my question to all the married and or divorced people that have BP or love someone with BP, what is this running thing. My wife is nice to everyone at work, nice to her friends, nice to her kids, but when I want to talk to her, I'm suffocating her. She tells me that she feels the need to run right now. She says that she loves me but her actions tell a different story.
This running thing includes basically ignoring me. She goes outside to the back porch for hours to avoid me, text her friends, talk to friends, and answer emails for work. Three Fridays ago, she was out until 12:15am with a friend. Two Saturdays ago, she was out with the same friend until 1:00am. Both times, I was told, "just going out, be back in a bit.". Both times I was left to care for our kids, but she took the car that had the car seats. If I wanted to go find her...couldn't. If someone got hurt...no transportation that's safe.
I've asked her if she has cheated. She hasn't. She doesn't want to be close to me, and she has no desire to be with someone else. She says that had she known that she had BP when we met, she would have never brought me into this and she would have never had kids and brought me into this. Then goes into how she just wants to be a good mom. There is no longer a need to be a "good wife.". No more "I love you.". No more touching unless I initiate a hug...which remember is suffocating her.
I saw a marriage counselor today by myself. In her defense, I scheduled this last week and I was aware that she may have a scheduling conflict, so I don't fault her for not coming. I told the counselor about all that is going on in my life and with her. I told him that she drinks a lot right now and he said that she should stop prior to seeing the doctor. There are disorders out there that mimic BP but are treated differently that alcohol helps to mask. I told her about that. She said that alcohol is her coping mechanism and then tonight came home with a 12 pk of beer. It's like a screw you, you're not my dad...you can't tell me what to do.
So what is this? Is this the BP? Is this the truth coming out now with all that's going on in her head? What is the sensation of running? Should I just suck this up until she gets her new meds? I don't want a divorce. I don't want to lose my kids, my family. Truth be known, I will fight like hell for them if she pushes a divorce, but thats not something I wish to discuss with her right now. I even considered the cheating thing as something I would struggle with put try to push through...Thank God I don't have to.
For those in a BP relationship, is this the norm? Am I the punching bag during the difficult times, and will she come back during the good times or better times? I will say that the good times are worth the beatings to be had during the bad times.
Help me understand....PLEEEEEAAASSEE