So! I am new here, but I do have some information for you, as well as a question. I have had a lot of problems with my mental state for several years now. I got to the point that I was self harming frequently . I eventually got somewhat stable. I was still very unstable, considering how a "normal" person should be acting and feeling, but at least I wasn't plotting ways to harm myself at every turn. I eventually had severe enough symptoms, between the anxiety attacks and the depression and whatnot, that I needed help. I went to see a doctor in November, and was prescribed sertraline and alprazolam. The alprazolam worked while it lasted.. but the sertraline just made me feel... weird. I havent been back to the doctor, mainly for fear of what he will say to me. I have more or less stopped taking the sertraline for about
three weeks, and the alprazolam ran out about
two months ago. The reason I stopped the sertraline is because of these dreams I kept having.. They were... Terrifying. The reason they were so disturbing is due to their realistic nature. I would wake up after being asleep for only a few moments, and think, "Was I actually in that situation, or dreaming?" Dreams like my family dying being some of the easiest to handle, some of the worst being that I finally lose. I would begin to hallucinate as if I were dreaming, rather than actually falling asleep to dream it. It got to the point that I wasn't able to sleep, and because of the severe smear of hallucinations, I was unable to make up my mind of what I was really doing. I stopped the medicine, experiencing some of the worst withdrawal of my life. Opiates were easier to withdraw from than the sertraline.
Well, the hallucinations and dreams are starting to reduce, but they are still rather nightmarish deep in sleep, but they no longer occur in anything other than REM sleep. So I am back to normal there! However... I am back to the problem of not having any help subduing my bipolar-like problems.. If it is on the list of symptoms of bipolar disorder, I have probably experienced it. Depression, anger, anxiety, extreme elation, money spending sprees, drug abuse.. The only thing I haven't done is... well, I am still happily a virgin.
What should I do now? And how do I approach my doctor, telling him that I went off my meds without him, and I think I need something else? Thanks for your help..
Edit: I am sorry I had to edit your post as we do not allow discussions of suicide, harming others as well as the parts edited were very graphic. Thank you for your understanding.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 3/10/2012 8:45:38 AM (GMT-7)