Happening again. Every month? Hormones, lamictal, progesterone? Bipolar and monthly cycle?

I cannot do this another month. Two weeks of every month are spent in crisis and I can't do it again. But it's happening again! I can feel it coming on and like the last three times and months, I am about to start my... you know, that lady thing. Oh, god help me. I knew it was hormonal and have tried to talk to talk about it, the problem is as soon as I start talking about it the darn doctors start packing their thermometer away and say, "Oh PMS. That silly thing? (chuckle chuckle)" But it's not like that. I'm a manic, uncontrollable rage machine... then black cloud of suicidal despair that can't sleep, forgets to eat and attempts to obliterate anything annoying. I had to get rid of my cats because once a month, I beat the crap out of them (I used to rescue cats from asshles like me) and couldn't stop myself. I get delusional. Not even my thoughts are the same and everything gets all suspicious and I start thinking there are cameras everywhere and my life better change so I come up with all these grand schemes to make it better. Life has to go on hold for two weeks of every month. And no one will take me seriously.

So the obvious solution would be to go on something to get rid of my monthly whatnot, right? Birth control maybe. But I was just put on Lamictal (I'm only on day 8) and hormonal birth control, which is what would be needed to stop it, reduces the efficiency of Lamictal by half. I can't talk to my psychiatrist about this because I don't see her again until the 23rd. I spoke to a PA the day before yesterday and she wouldn't put me on anything because "fake hormones cause problems down the line" and I don't have insurance. Which was fine because I don't know if she knew what the hell she was talking about anyway. She suggests my "mood swings" are the result of a lack of progesterone and that I should buy some topical cream to use when I know I''m going to be insane. I'm not so sure this won't make me crazier. I am right now already pretty mad. I have smashed three pens and punched the computer twice in the hour I've been awake. And I went on a spending spree last night and bought five belts... I never wear belts. It's beginning again and I don't want to do this. What do I do?