Toxic Brother

Welll, it sounds like I was able to give some good advice to Charmy, but I am at a loss in my own situation.

My brother is very toxic for me. Currently, I am doing some paper work for him to pay him back for some plane tickets that he bought for me. I could have bought the tickets myself, but he wanted to use some vouchers that he had. (Get it, it worked best for HIM) The situation is working ok and it keeps me from putting out money. But he acts like he owns me. He has no problem calling me at 7am, or coming in my house early in the am. (it is my other brothers house, so he has keys and I cant lock him out) He is always asking me to do stuff for him, like I don't have a life. Yea, I don't have a lot going on in my life, but that is what works for me. I have a comfort area that I can drive in and he asked me to drive to Canada for him. When I told him that was not comfortable for me, he just huffed. When I asked him why he would ask me to do something like that, he said that he doesn't consider that I am mentally ill and doesn't consider those factors.

The other day he gave my daughter some business advice and she didn't take it. He called my children screw ups. I called him on it and he didn't back down. Then the next day he acts like nothing is wrong. I am really angry. None of my kids are alcoholics, drug users, criminals etc. But they don't have the drive that he does, so he thinks that he can call them screw ups!

He is my brother and push come to shove, I know that he would be in my corner if I needed him. I can't just shut him out of my life, but I am not sure how to keep healthy around him. Sorry for the long post, just feeling the pain this am.

 

  Its funny, this disorder we live with presents so many different faces. When we are well, we are completely normal, there isnt a visual sign of the problems we have.  So people assume we are fine and forget what we deal with.

  My mom can be the same way also. I love her but she also wants tons of stuff when i come home. Then she wonders why i dont come home often.

  It may be his house, but there should be rules that he abides by. Calling first unless its an emergecy before he comes in the house.

   Does he have kids? Cause i havnt seen one kid take good advice from their parents. LOL LOL LOL Of course kids mess up, how else will they ever LEARN.        

  My ex still lives in my house (i live in an appartment) even though i own it, until she has to move i allways call and check if i can come over and visit thor, or do work on the house. It may be mine, but i respect her privacy as an adult. Your brother should give you the same.

  Bill