HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Need encouragement

Support Forums
>
Bipolar Disorder
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 10/17/2012 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
I traveled 2 weekends in a row.  Having panic attacks again, but too much anxiety to go to the pharmacy and refill my clonazepam/Klonopin, so I've been hoarding pills (almost out of them) and not using it when I should.  Work has been very stressful.  12 hours yesterday, 11 hours today.  House is a mess from traveling, not unpacked yet, spending most of my time at home sleeping.  My fiance is getting stressed out and carbby from the messy house - does not help anything.  (He can clean too...  the logic of I should do more cleaning because I work less doesn't hold up when I'm working more than he is!!!!!!)

 

I have a psych appointment tomorrow and stressed about it because I dislike and don't trust the new psych nurse practitioner.  I miss my Dr.! (He moved a few months ago.)

 

Journaling, trying to calm down, fighting nausea from stress, dehydrated, low body temp.  Just a crappy few days.  I need relief from the anxiety.  I miss going to the gym but I spent my paycheck on supplies for work (again) so I don't have money to renew my membership.

 

sad  

 

Just thankful for my dog right now.
Posted 10/17/2012 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
Had my psych appointment. Twice as much Klonopin as usual for the month and Trazadone for 2 weeks for sleep aid. I stopped at work on the way home, told my fiance I was going to go home, take a bath and sleeping pills. So he shouldn't be upset about me not getting anything done at home. (anything significant, I did clean the bathroom vanity.

So here's hoping for restful sleep - the first in weeks - and relief from anxiety in the morning.
Posted 10/18/2012 1:38 AM (GMT 0)
tORTISE-I am praying for you. If you need send me an   email of what I can pray for you. ???? 

hugs, Caren  

ps it was good to go to your doctor

Posted 10/18/2012 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
Thinking of you!
Posted 10/20/2012 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
Today is worse. So tired. Worked all day on my "day off". I am completely drained. I need a hug. I need a little support. But my fiance has been an ass giving me cold shoulder. Cried myself to sleep on the couch before supper. No appetite anyway. Been up for about a 1/2 hour and going back to sleep. :(
Posted 10/20/2012 11:54 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so very sorry that you're dealing with so many stressful issues and not getting enough sleep.  Those of us who post on HealingWell sometimes need to be reminded that Moderators also are dealing with the same issues we have.  You have every reason to be completely drained.  You're working far too many hours, not sleeping and have a less than considerate boyfriend.  I do sincerely hope it gets better.  Sending hugs. 
Posted 10/20/2012 9:32 PM (GMT 0)
TY. I did a little better today. Made it to 2:00 before panicing in line at a craft store (put my stuff down and walked out) and at the bank drive in (pulled out of line and left). I probably would have been fine if I had not gone out to eat with my parents (unplanned) for lunch.

Got some good things at home - some emails of encouragement and a couple packages I had bartered for, watch my dog play with his new toy (his birthday is tomorrow), and rest for a bit. Going to learn to throw clay pigeons for my fiance. I hope my nerves hold out and it is fun.

I'm hoping for a little progress everyday until I'm feeling less anxious and well again.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply