I've been married to my wife for almost five years. We've known each other for six. I amd 45 and my wife is 33 and I love my wife dearly. I often tell her that if she was paralyzed I wouldnt leave her because I still will be able to hold her. Early in our marriage I noticed some behaviors that I havent encoutered before in any other woman that I have dated. I did not know she suffered from depression until I found some of her old medical documents. After researching this on my own I began to understand some of her mood swings and odd behavior.
She was diagnosed with Depression about 12 years ago. The Doctor put her on medication and and she told me that she didnt take them because of all the side effects. She hates the term Bipolar and rather say that she was depressed then. Her mother is in a locked down mental facility suffering from schizophrenia inwhich she was placed in foster care for a couple years when she was 12. Her mother lived a normal life and just lost it around the age of 30. My wife is also an actress/comedian that appears on several televison shows and commercials. She states that she cant do her job and be funny while on the medications. when she was in high school she was sent to counseling due to her imaginary friends. She stated to me that she was doing this to try and make friends at her new school.
The issues I'm having now is trying to understand the mood swings that still happen and how to deal with them. Currently what happens she will go off in my opinion for nothing at all. She usually goes for about 2 - 3 hours. One of her compulsive behaviours that comes with her Bipolar is shopping and spending money. We have everything in our house that is "As Seen On TV". She sneaks and spend money on Psychics and spend thousands of dollars on candles for healing and prosperity from these con artist. She is also addicted to playing these games on her cell phone that she will play for numerous hours over and over again. She set alarms so they wake her throughout the night when a stage that she has to complete. I spend my every day trying to please her. After I get off work I go home and cook, clean, wash our clothes while she does really nothing.
Sometimes she's very unmotivated and lethargic. She will stay in bed for days and just watch the same tv shows that she records one after the other. She will only get out of the bed to use the rest room and thats it for days. Sometimes she seems like she's in another world. It's hard because I feel we aren't as connected a lot of times. She is always reading different self help books on how to cure illnesses in a hour. She is always trying to cleanse the toxins out of her body through everything from Colonics, Acupuncture, to hot suctions cups on her back and burning funnel tubes in each ear from the Asian places.
I really love my wife and dont want to give up on her. I worry that eventually she would be walking the street like her mother was with no one to take care of her. Sometimes I feel guilty if I just give up. I think of my vows of sickness as well as health to death due us part. The doctors wouldnt go into much detail about her illness because she want let them. They give me hints on books to read and tell me that there is nothing that I can do for my wife unless she becomes a threat to herself. I am a grown man and I shouldnt be off to myself sometimes crying and becoming depressed on how I can get her to take the medicines. She hsalso said that she will give me a divorce for my well being. I love my wife and just want her to be CLOSE to normal. Sometime I just feel like I'm in this by myself. That I keep giving and never receiving anything in return. I miss my wife terribly when I can say she is normal. When she's not depressed or in a mood swing is the most fun loving person. When she's in one of her cycles or is depressed she is a shell of herself. I've read allot of books about Bipolar and living with a bipolar spouse. I know that she loves me but sometimes it feels like it just isn't there. I'm not a person to give up. I plan on living the rest of my life with my Wife. Let me stop now because I can go on and on. I just need some advice on how to cope with the many faces of Bipolar.