Dear Ellie:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't quit the meds! I sooooo know how you feel-the frustration, confusion, the hoplesness can be unbearable, I know! I wish you didn't feel that you had to hide this, you can't do this alone. Please call your doctor and tell them you need to get in ASAP, even if it is just to check in and chat about things-especially if you think you are crashing-you want to stop it before you can if at all possible.
about your husband, oh dear. It is a trying time for both of you, your health must take centre stage, this I know for sure. I think you are in a bad place right now, and you need some hope. Maybe he could join one of these groups, or one similar so he can vent?? I don't want to simplify this, I'm sorry, but steps need to be small when you are trying to stabilize.
Are your symptoms normal? I don't know. But I do know you sound like you are at the end of your rope, and need to see the doc. Just know that you always have this group to chat with, you can be yourself here!!!
Hang on, don't give up, it does get better, but it does take time!
All my thoughts,
Shannon