Catch-22 situation. Don't know what to do

I have a seemingly impossible catch-22 situation on my hands and badly need some advice and help please.

I've had a tic disorder for most of my life and went to see a specialist some time ago where I was diagnosed and treated for Tourettes. This is the only reason I went to see her and was very happy to finally get a diagnosis and treatment (even though the meds only help to a certain extent and don't always work).

After about the fourth or fifth visit to her, a surprize diagnosis of "Bi-Polar" was suddenly pulled out of the hat and powerful medication were prescribed which is causing lots of side affects. I was absolutely blown away by this new diagnosis because of the frightening implications of being labeled with it and the stigma attached to it. Blame the media and human perceptions I guess.

So, I spent a lot of time on several Bi-Polar forums over a period of weeks and a number of people seemed to be unable to completely relate to all the symptoms I was describing because I suffer from GAD and so I was talking a lot about my anxiety/panic attacks/dreams (although the support very helpful, fantastic and the people were super nice! - I also learned a LOT). This made me question if I really did in fact have Bi-Polar. Even when I read the description of Bi-Polar on medical site it doesn't even sound much like me or anything I'm really going through (at least not all that much). The thing is, I have read that "people with bi-polar disorder don't believe they have it" on many medical sites so I suppose the argument could be made that I'm simply in a state of "denial". I've also read that "Bi-Polar" is a popular catch-all diagnosis when they don't know what else to diagnose you with.

Anyway, my primary care doctor get's word of this new diagnosis and suddenly is now insisting that I see a Pdoc for not only my GAD but my "Bi-Polar" as well. My main issue for decades has always been GAD. I was diagnosed with GAD a long time ago and have been treated for it for decades. Half my life has been spent dealing with GAD, going to support groups, writing about it, reading about it, etc. The medical/psychiatric description of GAD fits me perfectly in every possible way.

At some point I contacted the specialist who made the diagnosis of "Bi-Polar Disorder" to let them know that the other med (for Tourettes) was working fairly well but that I had not been able to deal with the Bi-Polar med very well at all and was asked if I had stopped taking it and what side affects I was experiencing from it. I haven't replied...yet.

The thing is, my only (main) issues in life have always been GAD and Tourette's. That is what all of this was supposed to be about. I can't remember ever being told I had Bi-Polar and now suddenly "out of the blue" I get this diagnosis. I don't want to tell the nurse that I stopped taking the Bi-Polar meds on my own because I'm afraid they will think I am being uncooperative and put something like "patient refused treatment" in my chart. Or maybe they will think that stopping the med on my own makes me a "danger" (since you are not supposed to stop taking this med without your Doctor's approval) and try to stick me in some psych ward where I'm given even more labels and pumped full of drugs. It's a scary thing getting sucked up in the system.

Thats the thing right there. I've always been afraid to assert myself or actively participate in my own treatment. To be proactive, get involved and let my voice be heard when I don't like something or when I feel the wrong med has been prescribed or I disagree with the diagnosis. I mean, I should have some say over what goes into my body right?. And if I'm having side affects I should be able to tell the Doctor about it or if it doesn't feel right, stop taking the medication, right?. Isn't my treatment my business to an extent?. There are lots of people who have all kinds of issues and prefer to deal with them through spirituality, natural treatments or even opt for no meds at all and as long as they are not flipping out or doing anything wrong, I assume this is ok?. I AM taking my meds though...it's just one med (the Bi-Polar one) that I have problems with. I'd like to be able to just tell her that I only want her treating me for the Tourettes and that I'd like to get a second opinion on the Bi-Polar diagnosis but I'm afraid that she will think I'm questioning her judgement or that I don't trust her and maybe even stop seeing me and she is the ONLY one who accepts my insurance and is treating me for Tourettes.

The pressure from being suddenly diagnosed by something with so many frightening implications and stigma, side affects from the medication, being afraid to assert myself in my own treatment, pressure to see a Pdoc, fear of getting sucked into the system, appointment after appointment, etc is just all getting to be a bit much. I'm not seeing things that aren't there, I'm no danger to anyone or anything, I'm not hearing things or flying into rages, etc. I just want to be left alone in peace and yet I feel like I'm being pulled in every direction. Sometimes I feel like a frightened puppy.

Thank you for listening and I greatly appreciate any input or advice you folks are able and willing to provide.