My wife of 8 years has recently had a near death experience,(ruptured spleen) and needed emergency trauma surgery to save her life. She also has just been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder(2 years ago) and Dr's have said she has most likley had it since her teen years(she's 57). As a teen and well into her adult years she was, shall we say .. very popular with the guys and about
everyso many years she moves on.. . I am her 3rd husband and 7th or so relationship.
She has 4 children from her first marriage ,all adults with families and children of thier own. I have been married once before for 29 years and have 2 adult daughters also both married with children. The step kids relationship with me is ,to say the least, difficult. Their relationship with thier mother is .. distant yet they acknowlege her and
they always said " well thats Mom" . They were actually raised by thier father and ex family. So its "different".
We,her and I, have a set of 5 year old twins a boy & girl. Issues with them and our adult children are a book in itself.
My issue is this. After living away from the town she grew up in (until 18) for 35+ years she now,since her life scare,wants to sell our building,and close our buisness's and move "back home" ??!!!!. This is her /our home. I have lived here for 40 years. My extended family live anywhere from 1 hour to 1500 miles away. Her extended family,mother,three brothers and 2 of her aduts kids live within 1 hour of us.
We visit them.. they rarley ever visit us. They have thier families. All thier kids are adults have jobs and have moved to other cities with thier families. Closests ones are 3-5 hours away. Some farther.
Yet my wife wants to uproot her family,which by the way she say's "its not the same thing" and move "back home"! to be near her family. That home was(40 years ago) was Wilkes- barre Pa.
Crime rate there is equal to and in some types of crime exceeds Philidelphia. The School system is far below par compared to where we are now .Wilkes Barre is rated a 3 and our town an 8 . Our crime rate is far below the state and national average accross the board. The neighborhod she wants to move to now has 96 registered sex offenders residing there. Our current town has 4.
All these facts to her don't matter. I tell her she's only thinking about herself and not the kids or myself. Her reply is
The kids are only 5 they won't care and will get used to it. I want to live by my family.
None of her older kids would or do live in Wilkes-Barre. They all moved aways for a better life and better jobs. Even her brothers ,now older are planning to move when they can now that the kids have flown the coop.
She is medicated but insists she wants what she wants. To move back home. Her Bi -polar has nothing do do with any of this. She misses the "old town". Well the "old town "is not the old town anymore. Neither is she. You can't go back. Wilkes barr is noT what it used to be. The population is in decilne,Corruption is rampant. There is a real reason why homes in down down can be bought for 30k AND EVEN UNDER!
Every person I have told this to has said to me Wilkes-barre?? Aer you kidding? what about your little ones? People are moving out not in. Why in the worls would you want to live there? It's only a short drive to visit.
Is what she doing typical of a bi-polar person? Is it midlife crisis now that she realizes her age? How can she just throw away the last 4 decades of her life in this town to "run home to mommy"?
By the way she does not just want to life closer she wants to live on the same street. Preferably next door. The owner of the house next door just passed last week . Her response.. its Kismet!!. Her 3 brothers all live within 3 blocks of thier mother and we see her more often. Go figure that one.
She's a good mom to our 2 twins but I don't think I can let her take them to live in a place where you need to lock you doors and set the alarm even during the day. To a school system where my kids are one of thousands instead of one of dozens. A neighborhood where your kids can't be outside alone even in your own fenced back yard.
Advice for a concerned father and husband to a bi-polar wife.