Posted 4/15/2013 7:47 PM (GMT 0)
hi all
i am searching for some answers about my wifes behaviour and have read a few posts on bipolar. it is scary that some posts could of been written by me. Quite a lot of the symptoms seem to match up but not all.....
I met my wife around 10yrs ago and things were fantastic for the first 18months. the problems seem to of started when she gave birth to our daughter. I just put her mood swings down to hormones and been a tired new mum at first so just took it on the chin. She wouldnt let me help in any way with our daughter but was obviously tired out. i would have to argue with her to be involved in any way with day to day dutys. anyway as time go's on my wife would be telling me she loved me one day then the next day she would go out in a great mood but come home in a right mood which would always end in me been thrown out of our home. Nothing much would happen, i would only have to have a different opinion on something trivial and would find myself homeless and everything taken from me as if it made her feel good to be in total control whilst she knew i had nothing at all. i dont have any other family so would end up on a friends setee. over a 3 year period this pattern of behaviour must of happend at least 100 different times ''loving me one minute and hating me the next'' it could last from anything from a day to 3 months. I would always go back to her as she would just act like nothing had ever happened and i loved her dearly and my daughter. however her mood swings were getting worse and more frequent. almost every 4-6 weeks she would kick me out of our home for no reason at all. i would be plodding along very happy thinking everything is fine then BANG she would throw me out for no reason again, tell me she doesnt love me and she hasnt been happy for months. even though the day before she would be telling me how much she loved me.....
i had to get my own flat in the end so i atleast had some where to go when she would have an episode. She has a daughter and when she was 13 she let her 16yr old boyfriend move into the house. something i disagreed with strongly but whenever i voiced my concerns she would tell me it had nothing to do with me and if i didnt like it i should get my things and go, so i did. After 3 years she eventually kicked out her daughters boyfriend and told me ''i am sorry i dont know what i was thinking. i must of had post natal depression''. i accepted this and we got back together, However the mood swings never went away so i started asking her to go and see a doctor just to be told ''its not me with the problem, its you''
fast forward a few months, we was on holiday and she took an overdose in a suicide attempt. This lead to her doctor diagnosing her with depression and prescribing anti depressants. Almost over night she changed so much, she was back to the loving, wonderfull woman i first met. the mood swings stopped, the arguing stopped, things were so good that in the 12-18 month period she was taking medication we got married and the bad old days were behind us. the future was looking bright.....or so i thought. A few months after we married i noticed the mood swings creeping back in, then because she couldnt throw me out of 'her house' anymore she started going to her mums or daughters over the most stupid of disagreements. I asked her if she was still taking medication to be told ''no i stopped taking a few months ago and because i didnt notice i was only trying to control her''. Things have gradually got worse again, she loves me one minute and hates me the next and tells me shes leaving me ect ect but always comes back a week later after i have apologised for something i havnt done just to get her and my daughter home again. In 10years she has not once apologised to me and every single argument is my fault. when she go's she will take the car, the bank cards,our daughter, tells me she wants a divorce and even takes the dogs as if she is taking pleasure from knowing i have nothing. She will book £3000 holidays we cant afford, racked up around 10 grand of debt, Mood swings are awfull, she will often ignore me for weeks at a time and she always has to be in total control of everything, go against her and she will leave me again
this latest episode she had just booked a £3500 holiday, asked my daughter to move in with us then just out the blue she went in another awfull mood for no reason at all, went out with the dogs in a great mood telling me she loved me on the way out the door then came home an hour later and ignored me for a whole week. this caused an argument over the phone where she threatened to jump off a bridge and slammed the phone down. An hour later she sent me an email telling me she was leaving me. She wouldnt talk to me, took my daughter and disappeared. i found them a few weeks later in a womans refuge and this seemed to make her worse. a week later i received a non molestation order with all kinds of allegations claiming i used to beat her up, rape her, threaten to beat up her parents,i controlled her ect ect all kinds of awfull things that simply arent true. my world came crumbling down around me.i loved my wife so much and have never harmed a hair on her head. Up untill this point it was just my wife doing what she has always done (leaving me , followed by the usual threats of divorce and shes not coming back ect) . She hates me so much for no apparent reason. only a day before this happened she was my wife, my friend and told me she loved me. i am struggling to come to terms with the hate she has towards me, the lies she has told and allegations i dont know where they have come from. She has been gone 2 months now and i am still looking for answers. can anybody help does this very brief description of my experience sound like it could be BP? i know somethings not right but cant quite put my finger on it. please help :(