self-hypnosis

Hi Journey,

We can talk about it, but remember that it's a red flag and people get concerned about mania. If your side effects are problematic, your Dr hopefully will help you out. If you go off meds, keep your med check appointments so you still have the Dr support when you need meds again.

I am off mood stabilizers since 7/10/2013. I still see my psych nurse and she has been great helping me stay stable. She has helped with medication for anxiety and sleep when I have needed them to stay stable. Getting to this point was a long journey and I still have to be careful. I have learned how I need to live in order to stay healthy. Sometimes I test my boundaries and see if I am able to do more. Sometimes I am.

For example, last year I was only able to work 2 half-days. I was able to work four 3/4-days. Now I'm trying to work two or three 10-hour days and 1 6-hour day per week. It feels really going to be able to have a more normal life occassionally, but I have to be very cautious.

I mood chart and I've journaled enough to learn how I'm affected by events. So I can anticipate problems that might come up. I tend to have depression in winter. So I worked more this winter - the structure and human interaction helps me stay healthier. When I see my psych nurse, we briefly chat about my mood forecast.

I'm proud of how far I've come. I used to have ultraradian cycling and mixed episodes. My weight was all over the charts. I self-harmed too much and binged almost daily. It took about a year to find meds that worked and then another 2 years to be stable. I had a long remission in the middle but I hadn't learned enough coping skills to stay stable off meds. I was fine off meds for about 4 months until my dog died. It was another year back on meds. I did get stable fairly quickly. I was taking 10 pills a day. I tapered off meds over several months, one at a time. Lamictal was one of the last to go. My Dr. recommended staying on a low dose because of the long time it takes to restart the med when symptoms return. I was back on a low dose of Lamictal "just in case" at the beginning of winter until it was clear that depression wasn't an immediate threat.

Please stay in touch with your Dr and don't be shy to get treatment when symptoms return. My story is not normal. I am thankful for my better health at the moment, but I'm very aware that symptoms may return at any time. I'm not cured, just stable for now.

I was having severe memory loss and about 1/2 the pills were to counteract side effects of the psych meds.