is there some sort of Users Manual for hypomania?

A Users Manual. Might help some of us who are "new" to the game.

I am a very restrained person. That has not worked out so well. Trying to hard to control this energy always leads to bad places. I have been this way for over a month and I keep finding ways NOT to deal with it.

I thought I was experiencing emotional turmoil over my first love. Get a handle on that and have what at least felt like a good nights sleep and off to work! Long story short (I can do that now after far too long and losing far too much) my energy got so high that I felt like my mind would break and I was shaking. I threw up and had to admit there just might be a touch of bipolarity.

I've learned to allow it to move, most importantly through my heart. BPD and a learned deadness have made that hard but not impossible. I'm learning about how it interacts with the choices I make in expending [poor word choice for something inexhaustible] it.

I thought my shrink had helped me out. The restraint and focus I used to convey what was on my mind and to push through the euphoria was a bit much. I needed a notebook too "bookmark" myself. Afterwords I felt terribly jarred. Then better but colder. It is easier to stop talking but otherwise things are not better. It is harder to focus. I get distracted easier. I get less done. It is harder to monitor my behavior. Harder to direct my behavior.

I can get mood stabilizers in two days. This is soon, it will feel like 4-6 days but that is ok.

I have out of sheer Love and joy at the prospect of seeing a friend I walked through moving traffic I knew was there. I do not feel indestructible. It just did not seem like a concern. I do not think she would be happy about that. I took some ADHD meds to see what the reaction would be. I...have read a few books on Bipolar. I know better. i took them before I knew I was this way then stopped for concern over blood pressure. I do not think things through well and valid concerns are not given proper weight.

Probably other things but I am very good at rationalizing and I found a lot of ways to explain what I felt as normal. They felt normal.

The things I have said and done to people. i am three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket. i am not a raccoon, i am an entire family of raccoons. I go from cold to weeping to feeling a Happy all through me to Love that makes me just a bit...yeah.

I am a 33 year old man who is not accustomed to acknowledging his emotions. I am a misanthrope. Feeling love for strangers and finding that only a little creepy when looking back on it. More like an academic understanding that it is creepy. I love birds even though I remember that they are the most disgusting vermin on the planet and need to die. But watching them take to flight is life affirming.

I was getting down (sort of) then a roommate fired up the blender at 4am and that perked me up! I remember the sound of a chainsaw made me feel better before. Another inversion. This ride is insane.

So. Users Manual, FAQ about how to deal or advice welcome. Sorry for the mess. It has been that way lately.

Thank you.

No meds yet but things worked out. I've read about the things you suggested because a girl I care for has been diagnosed with Bipolar II. Then everything became fuzzy and I could rarely remember much unless a reference to it came up in conversation.

Just out of curiosity...

Is impaired memory for conversation common? I've had irritable/anxious episodes before and they never touched that. Recently entire conversations or even meeting someone have been forgotten. Then my visual memory is sometimes extraordinary. Simple sleep loss and stress mussing with my brain?

I am safe. I cannot always tell if I am still hypomanic, not restraining it made it less visible but more manageable. The distractability is more of an issue than the impulsivity now though. I just had to get past the unpleasantness of restraining it and catch on to the fact that I need to watch my actions/reactions instead of my thoughts and feelings.

Comorbid BPD. Distractability and impulsiveness from there as well. The emptiness, numbness and pain in varying combinations make monitoring hypomania harder but again with the actions/reactions.

Meditation is invaluable. Thank you for that reminder, when things were bad I rarely thought to bother and more rarely did bother.

I have a new one! No Saint Johns Wort.

"One serious side effect of St. John's wort is its potential to trigger mania in people with bipolar syndrome. Onset can be sudden and may be perceived initially as depression, with mania emerging later. In one case study, researchers in Amsterdam studied a 23-year-old woman with no psychiatric history who developed acute mania and psychosis while using St. John's wort. [14]"

http://www.chiro.org/nutrition/FULL/St_Johns_Wort_Effective_with_Caveats.shtml

Post Edited (WindUp_Creeper) : 5/28/2013 10:45:15 AM (GMT-6)

Yes the ride can be crazy, but i can promise you with work it does get better. Not all at once and over time but there is relief in sight.

   When mine hit (and i still get them) i simply ride the wave and allow it to run its course. I clean, excersise, organize, and do other POSITIVE things to make a negative into a positive.

   THe other thing is that (IMHO) this is an emotional desease/disorder. It feeds on strong emotions, there fore you must work thru the rest of your life learning to control them. Think of it like a diet of the mind. WIth practictice it will come.   Find whatever religion or mediation works for you, and start from there. Get a dog, or spend as much time with one as you can, they are great teachers of peace and harmony.

   And dont be afraid to fail, you will. Knowing that, every day is a new chance to try all over again. It does get better.

 Bill

I don't think the St John's Wort is a good plan for you.

Haha, I know it is not funny, but your reaction to all the bad connections with hypo-mania is exactly same a mine. The further you read up on it the worse it gets.

I have rapid cycling bipolar 2 with some psychotic features. Quite a mouth full. Since I cannot afford treatment, the mania is terrible to behold. I don't go to the extreme with euphoria and cheerfullness and all that, but I reach a stage where I have the attention span of a rat and I drink. Being a student, this is not wise.

So I have learnt to keep away from any stimulants, even multivitamins, to not drive and to clean everything I can get my hands on. On my last episode, I cleaned and organized a whole lab, my apartment and even my closet. I also refrain from going out with people to places that will place me into temptation, like bars, clubs of dances. I just wait for it to pass and be productive about it.

Good luck!

Hi, Olesuzanna, I am not sure exactly whats in it but we do have a post on the main bi-polar page for Friends and Family of people with Bi-Polar and you might find some family friendly links in there. I do understand bad therapy and the gap it can cause in relationships, of course in my situation the relationship was already shaky because of me, but it is healing slowly but steadily and with some hope and faith and time I will be at her(my daughter) Wedding Nov. 15th to celebrate her marriage that actually happened last Nov. 15, that I found out about 3-4 months later from her Aunt. I hope you find help and friends through one of these sites. Angie