Excuse me if i ramble...but

Dear friends- "Hi" i'm brand new here & need your feedback. Sorry if i seem to ramble--but things i say are relevant. yeah
I'm 57 yr old retited HS teacher-married-no kids. I have mitral valve prolapse--Irritable bowel syndrome & just 2 wks ago--diagnosed with underactive throid--i will see endocrinologist in 2 wkss---hopefully w the meds (synthroid)--i'll be feeling better---OK--here's my "tale of Woe". sad

Am writer who has spent last 9 winters out in Beverly Hills CA.--"pitching my scripts"--returning back east in mid April (rented small room)---Have a hobby as a "part time astrologer"--in this way--met & befriended young aspiring actress/model from midwest (S. Dakota)---we became friends--she'd stop over to get "readings" (i felt bad for her & did not charge her)--as i got to know her---her story---had an adorable son--who was being raised by her mom in S. Dakota--this was 1996--he was 4 at this point.

She showed my his photos--adorable kid! Child did not know father----shortly there after we exchanged phone #s---gave me her mom's # in S. Dakota--i & my wife used to talk w her son--by phone---adorable. Each Christmas & his B'day--sent him gifts ( i sent him a "PHILLIES" shirt he luved)-

Finally in summer of 1999--kid moves out to LA w his mom---in Jan 2000---i start babysitting. We become very close & bond---i'm like a "father" or "uncle" to him--we play baseball---i teach him to shoot baskets---he luvs when i babysit.

Now--i find out his mom is getting involved w guys who do not have her best interests at heart---guys who are just using her. I try to talk to her--no luck---even her mom in S. Dakota is worried about her.

Finally we have words--& tell her if she is not careful---she could get in trouble---& that child would be better raised back home--she becomes angry--hangs up on me----changes phone #---& starts returning all gifts me & my wife sent to son--B';day & Christmas.

My friends--i miss this kid as much as a son! I get very depressed--this is 2000---now--it's 5 yrs---not sleeping right---depressed--etc--i feel it is a "Situational" depression--due to missing child.

Last week--with my wifes prodding i go see a psychiatrist---(i'm covered by my ife's ins--Pers-Choice--so i must get someone who takes that ins)--i call up 6 shrinks from list--only one gets back--woman w strong S. American accent.

I go--past Friday---i tell her this story--show her photos of child--trying to get across my heartbreak & maybe understand my deprssion--15 mins into the 1 hr session (I'm paying for)--she starts rolling her eyes eyes ---saying in strong accent--"So what happened?"----i look at my watch--hey -it's only 15 mins in----after 20 mins--i finish--she diagnoses me as BipolarII (the milder one)--and prescribes--Depakote---1000mg/day. I come home--check out this depakote--it is poison!! (liver tests must be taken--i'm already on lipitor---nausea, seizures)--who needs it----my wife is surprised--just thought i was depressed--my eife's friend (a mutual friend & RN)--says i am NOT BP!! Tells me not to take epakote--wait till my Thyroid is treated..see how i feel. My friends---do all shrinks diagnose--so quickly?? OK--during session i taled rapidly (i always do--when i'm excited & upset)--& i cried--heck--this is a sad story!!! sad I'm confused--please get back w any feedback---i appreciate it deeply---Blessings--Wotan

 Oh my goodness I would see a new drug dealer sweetheart. Okay I will be nice , you need a second opinion, get a new psychiatrist. 1000mg of depakpote is extremely high, unless you told her alot of info. that wasn't mentioned in your post. In my first dx of Bipolar, my doc prescribed me 500 mg, and I went back and GRADUALLY he increased it. Later to learn I am type I, two years later. That doc, hasn't spent enough time with , and that dosage seems too high . Where's pyschnurse? She could tell you more on meds that you are on and taking depakote with them. I cannot. I am no doc here but seems to me you are suffering depression due to a stressor in your life. I am really sorry to hear about the incident. In regards to the most imporant , which is your health, find another doctor, it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist. Good luck to ya .