Losing it

I get online to read on how to cope with someone that is BP, but all read is research it and learn about the disease. Which I have done many times, but most of the advice does not work Or I do not agree with.

Try and reduce the things that cause episodes, but the things that cause episodes are normal day to day things.
she comes up with every excuse in the book not to take her meds, I think she is addicted to the manic stage because she will drink until it causes one.

Does any one have any advice that is not meds, learning about the disease, extra. Advice on when I see a episode coming on, on how to defuse it with out babying her, and how to deal with all the mean hurtful things that come with a episode.