husband manic

My husband is being diagnosised with BP at 52 after 20 years of marriage. My son graduated from high school and he went totally manic. He has done this before like when he turned 50, my father died, his father died. Loss tends to trigger it. I just thought it was his way of mourning, that and the alcohol. This time was the worst. Three weeks into it he started to take Seroquel. (300mg) then  ambilify(600mg)for a month and now is on 900mg seraquel. It seemed like forever for this to work. He  denies having BP because he says he doesn't have the depression part. Although he knows he must take the meds and plans on seeing the pdoctor who hasn't had any discussion with him yet.  He doesn't look good. He just doesn't have any expression almost like he is in a stupor. He has a hard time waking up. He is still not himself. When will my husband return? I keep waiting for him to discuss his craziness with me. He hurt me so bad. I had alot of the emotions he was having. (fear,anger,depression) He thinks I'm the crazy one and has told my kids it's me that is crazy. I tried to be understanding and patient. I couldn't be when he was doing such dangerous things. It was like I was his good conscious and he was fighting me. He was pushing me away. He took off with a old girlfriend(not sexual) and I was left worrying about his safety. I have a wonderful man and love him deeply. I am so afraid of this happening again. It is so frightening. Kathytu 

Hi, Kathytu, I am so glad you found us; it's a really good bunch of people.  IMO, your husband displays some classic mania symptoms.  The running off with an old girlfriend is classic; I did the same about 5 years ago, I am NOT proud of it, and will regret it always.  The grandiosity is key; not found in any illnesses except BP and schitzophrenia.  In order to be diagnosed wtih BP, the requirement is mania or hypomania for more than 4 days.  Type I may only have one depressive episode in their whole life, it's mania.  Type II tends to be a little more depressed than manic.   I feel that he is probably BP.  He is on a very high dose of Seroquel, that's probably why he is so groggy.  He really needs a mood stabilizer WITH the Seroquel.  I know it is a ***** living with an untreated BP, the worst.  Most of us are really wonderful people, you just can't see it when we're sick.  If/when he gets BP diagnosis, he is going to have to learn to accept it, and take his meds. This is much easier said than done; we almost all go on and off, and are in denial for a long time.    I recommend when he starts them, you monitor his pills.  Count them, but don't tell him you're going to, just in case he isn't taking them.  It happens a lot.  When he starts a stabilizer, you should start to see improvement in a matter of days, but maybe not, as dosages vary widely from person to person.  It's hard to treat, I will not lie.  you have to be very diligent, observant and be in very close contact with your doc, don't let anything get out of control, call at the first signs of trouble.  Learn all you can, you will need to be able to spot them immediately, because he won't know.  It's so hard for us to tell.  Or he may deny it, too.  Blaming the spouse for being crazy or "making him" do the things we do is classic. 

I highly recommend you seek marriage counseling, because meds can only do so much.  He has to learn to deal with things, and he needs to understand your side, too.  A counselor can moderate the conversation so that a big wicked fight doesn't start, and results can be had.

God, I don't have enough time to tell you everythng, there's so much to know! 

Please let us know what the pdoc says, what meds he is prescribed and how you both are feeling about it, OK?  We are here anytime for ya!

Shannon

Thank goodness he has you; and that you want to learn all about it. 

I know if it weren't for my husband, I would be dead.  He is my reason for living.  I have been sick for the first 10 years of our marriage, refused to take my meds, classic BP stuff.  I made his life miserable, bankrupted us, the whole bit.  Yet, he stayed and continued to love me and not judge.  It's a miracle.  I got stable last year after he finally told me I would have to medicate or he couldn't stay.  I knew I needed him, and loved him, but when I got better, I had no idea how much I love that man.  I treat him like a god, I have a lot of making up to do, but know what?  He doesn't believe I do at all.   I adore him, and things are better than I ever could have imagined a marriage to be; he's wonderful.   I hope that your husband will do the right thing.  Under the sickness is no doubt a beautiful person.