Hi, I am new here and desperately seeking help, guidance.... I married my husband (a second marriage for both of us) last August - we are just three weeks shy of our first anniversary. When I met him he was the most amazing man I have ever met. My children adored him, he was honest, funny, highly intelligent, engaging and made us all feel so loved and safe. So cared for.
We fell deeply and passionately in love. I knew he was medicated but did not know what for- he said anxiety and inablitly to sleep. I researched his meds which were all unanimously prescribed for bipolar and /or schizophrenia. I asked him and he vehemently denied this. He said if I researched further, I would see they are also used for anxiety or sleep disorders. And he was correct - a the very bottom of all uses for his particular meds, it did state could also be prescribed for stress, anxiety etc. And I chose to believe him.
We moved in together, where we tried to blend our two families (including 5 kids between us). Almost immediately I saw a very different man. Down, depressed, unmotivated. After a very painful and lonely 3 months of living together, he told me the truth, that he had been diagnosed 3 years earlier with Bipolar Disorder. I researched and learned that very few marriages last. But I was determined that we would be different.
Eventually we got married, not without some dark times. But nothing we couldn't handle.
Since February of this year, after being put on anit-depressants, the man I know and love deeply, has become somewhat of a stranger. Argumentative, cruel, anit-social within our family.... would often leave our home early the evening but return by ten pm. Then it began getting later, hour by hour, until one day he snapped and didn't come home at all. With no communication with me for 12 hours. Since then he has left 8 more times. each time getting longer in the time that he will communicate with me - he blocks my numbers, email address etc. He has been living in his car. All this time he holds down a very good job, but it is beginning to show there as well.
He has lived in is car more days this last two months than at home. Rarely showering, brushing his teeth or eating. He has become extremely thin. I saw him yesterday - he came home for the day, and for a little while he seemed more like himself. Apologetic, loving. More like the man I know. But he was extremely ion edge. By late afternoon, he was on the run again. There is no arguing, no stress, but he says there is something in him that makes him want to run. Be away from all people. He just drives around, he's disoriented a lot and wakes up in places and has no idea where he is or how he got there.
Last Sunday he checked into the hospital and then checked out early Monday morning. He tried to go back Friday night, and was sent home, saying he didn't pose as a risk to himself or others.
I have barely heard from him today, other than to tell me I deserve better.
I know he is in so much pain. And so am I, and my girls. His children are missing him too as he can't cope seeing them either.
He hasn't been taking his meds consistently so of course that doesn't help.
I love him with everything I have despite the pain this illness has caused.
How can I get him home? How can I help him seek medical attention? How can I help him see how much he matters to so many? How can I help him see the great things in his life, and how it is worth it to get help, that we can do this?
I am so afraid he is going to give up. Either end his life (which has attempted to do twice before I met him), or just stop going to work, stop functioning at all and loose everything. End up homeless on the streets.
I am at such a loss. Please, if anyone has advise that can help me help him, I would be eternally grateful.
I am dying inside.
Post Edited By Moderator (UserANONYMOUS) : 7/21/2014 7:43:54 AM (GMT-6)