Views/Advice Needed. Help!

I am married to an amazing, dynamic, and at this time unstable woman. She is the love of my life and I want to help her in any way I can. The problem I am having with this is trying to separate what I know as her past behavior when we had no idea what we were dealing with from her not quite stabilized behavior we have now.

When I begin to see things happening now that happened when we were in the midst of a separation and almost certain divorce I begin to freak out. My anxiety starts to build to a point where I feel like am going to shoot through the wall sideways or maybe upside down. This also has the side effect to cause me to be paranoid of all her actions. Is she going back to the person she was during the last 5-6 month manic episode? Am I losing her again? Does she again see me as the downer of responsibility that is going to try and ruin her fun by seemingly telling her what to do, what is right or wrong? I then become so angry. Angry that she may be doing this again. Angry that her meds aren't right yet and she feels nothing towards us, her family. No affection, no caring, no want or need to be with us. Just an overwhelming anger at us, at me for reminding her to take her medication, asking her how she is feeling today, if she's going to take all the medications the doctor prescribed, for saying I love you too many times that day.

What is wrong with me? Why do I still feel like my world is over when we have just begun to rebuild it. Do I have some hidden problem too? I do have a history of depression and ADHD, but have never had a full evaluation. I just don't know what to do. The doctors say don't feed into her dark moods. They say don't provoke her. How do you do that when nothing seems to matter to that person right now? How do you stop the pain of having no affection returned for long periods of time without it destroying you or what you feel for them? Day by day I feel like I am losing her, myself, and my kids all at the same time.

I know I've put a lot out there in this very loaded post, but I don't know what to do and I know there are a lot of people out there who have experienced at least parts of this. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated in the very new situation and please forgive any lack of understanding I may have of this disorder. I want to learn and I want this to work. Thank you all and good luck.