What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy?
Hon, we ALL have those days, I so understand! Well, I guess you can say you were born to FEEL crappy (or great, depending what day of the week it is!), but you weren't born to BE crappy! You have as much right to be here (as in living, not just the board) as anyone else. We're all special, in our own way. (Wasn't that some song in the 60s? I'm going to vomit) 
Don't doubt your dx, you know darn good and well you are. Think about all the things you have done and then tell me you chose to do them. Pfffft.
I know you have some personal s*** going on, it would be totally abnormal NOT to be feeling crappy, not to mention that even on meds, we still have mood swings which are made worse by personal problems. Esp rapid cyclers like you, me and Nickie. So frustrating!
I hate that your family doesn't bother or take the time to learn anything about BP and try to understand. Many people are happy in their ignorance and archaic views. They are only limiting themselves from growing as people, because IMO people like that are also ignorant about tons of other things. They would rather stick with their stupid opinions than learn. Pity.
At least you have us, we DO care and support you, even if we can't fix what's going on.
We love you, Sandra, please remember that.
Shannon