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wanting to confront husband about getting diagnosed

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Posted 10/5/2014 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
Wanting to confront my in-denial husband in getting help and evaluation done by psychiatrist -how do i do it ;by talking to him (he can get anger issues),by writing letter to him ,by asking doc to call him,by involving his parents(will make him angry too),....running short on ideas ...

i do not see my life without him in it .....no matter how much abuse and tantrums i have to go through.

please suggest best methods to make him understand my issues with him....

abuse is a separate issue ...need to deal with it later ...his mental health is suffering and makes me sad and sullen .

makes my anxiety,worry,depression worse as i am in constant thoughts..

any ideas..
 cry cry
Posted 10/5/2014 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
time to step away i feel. you have, are and will continue to be the brunt of all of his ****. he needs to take responsibility for his actions. all of what you are saying i find will just in-flame him and the situation. i like writing to him. but you must be in a safe place when he receives it. i am now seriously worried about your safety. i am not being an alarmist but when you already speak of abuse, then the propensity for that to escalate further is a definite reality. he needs an intervention. this will only happen if he is reported for his abuse or if he is deemed unsafe and or a danger to himself or the community. if this is now the case ring immediately for help. you keep safe okay. time to step away for a bit. i say this in the most loving way to you. i know you love him and all but at the moment he is too unwell to see clearly. also there may also be other mental manifestations going on. thus it is time to call for some help and let him receive some assistance. keep posting okay. i care, we all do.
Posted 10/6/2014 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
my depression is all time worse HT and his mood affect my mood too without even me or him realizing it .
my anxiety and health is suffering and i trying to stay quiet and to myself .

if i report him -he emotionally blackmails me suicide/divorce/you don't love me etc ...so i never think abt it.

AS i want to prove to him HE is my 1st priority.

but at my own cost seems stupid and foolish .

feel very sad and helpless everyday.

i need help and i need to ask for it soon .

thanks so much!!
Posted 10/6/2014 7:52 AM (GMT 0)
please seek that help asap. things can turn badly extremely quickly.
Posted 10/6/2014 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
No matter the excuse: Abuse is abuse.

It took my wife a lifetime of abuse to realize how abusive her mother was... it took when she started saying things about our children. They are now no contact. My mother in law is very public about how much she suffers because of it - my wife is doing much, much better. She still loves her mom - but her own health and welfare and that of our children come first.

My mother-in-laws biggest weapon of guilt is the threatened suicide.

Get help for you first, then for him. If things don't work out getting help as they are, call his bluff on the divourse threat. Either way it goes you'll be better off.
Posted 10/6/2014 4:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi cilly,

Your hubby does need to seek help. However, I know you mentioned it's hard to talk to him about seeking help. Is there anyone else (a friend or family member) you can confide in that they can talk to him about seeking help?

If possible, please try to get some counseling for yourself. It can help you and you will learn lots of coping skills.

If you feel threatened, you should go back by your sister for sometime until your hubby settles.

Please know that we are her for you.

*Hugs*
UA
Posted 10/8/2014 6:21 AM (GMT 0)
Talked to few family member ,lets see how can they help.I do not expect miracle help from them...as they find me enduring and a victim if i talk much ..so i tend to shy away ..

as soon as my pain is more better ...going to sis for few days ~~need time off from chaos!

thanks for your support UA~i appreciate your kind words!
Posted 10/13/2014 6:33 PM (GMT 0)
Any luck with the family members?
I'm sorry to hear how they are but I hope they would help. Let us know.

UA
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