Thanks to all

 Thanks you guys for posting yesterday, even if you just posted on another thread. I read all threads yesterday and one even made me laugh so I smiled at least for a moment. I really need to get to my doc's.I know I usually get bad after being good for a few days, but this is the end.... I just cannot get better by sitting here doing nothing. I thinkI need a whole set of new moods. Shannon when we talked before yo said you thought I was well on my way to being stable or close to it anyways. I even thought I was doing well. Then what in the world happened to me? You  know how much a pain in the butt it is to start a whole new combo of meds. I just hate to start over again. I feel like I have been trying new meds since ... well like 2 yrs. ago. Why can't I at least get it half way right. Anyways, I really appreciate all you guys are doing to help. I hope I can post something that makes you guys feel better. Gosh it's not even October yet. That scares me. I feel so blah, foggy , not focused , angry , sad, this is the worst I have felt in a long time. I am crashing hard. i do know one thing, I am not taking it out on Jaylynn. She has actually been really well this week. Then again Jason has stepped in to help me, I think he knows that I am not well even though i don't say a word about it. He had a few days off work this week , so he is helping tremendously. My mom usually talks to me, but she's at the other house and it's like an 1hour and a half away. Not to mention I don't like to talk to her in front of my dad. lol So I am still bad, just hit hard last night and today I feel overwhelmed, extremely tired and like a brick wall ran into me. rather than I running into it. I think I am gonna stay home today, I don't have school on Friday's but I do tomorrow. Ugggh.. a saturday morning class. anyways, I hope we can all settle down our Bp, it's weird how most of s feel the same way at the same time. ( Shannon you are genuinely a sweetheart, I don't think you even know) P.S. I have calmed down about my pap today, it 's just rough and hopefully over time I will completely accept what is... he's gone.                       nickie