3 weeks to divorce

My wife, whom i love more then life itself, was taking adderall for 18 months. she was never diagnosed any mental illness. She saw what it was doing to her kids and I and quit cold turkey. rage was common on the daily withdrawal. After 2 days the voices started. then the depression. after a hard week things were ok for a few days. at 12 days she accused me of sleeping wth her 17 year old daughter. as i was walking out the door she grabbed me and begged me to stay. its important to know that she always used sex as an apology. that would make up for everything. anyways 3 days go by and i seem to be having an affair with one of her friends. not. we go away for a weekend and at 3 am she leaves me. stranded 100 miles from home. i later found out she thought i was trying to kill her. her pastor gets her to a hospital. she is givin lithium. the next morning she calls me from the psych ward and asks where am i and why did i lock her up. she spend 3 days in there and promises to take meds. diagnosed bipolar. after 4 days she quits the meds. on day 6 she is tired. takes a nap and wakes up to pack my bags she wants a divorce. i was at work the whole time day 7 she files for divorce. we were perfect together. her kids have been taken away and im a lier and cheater. all conversations are emotion free from her. she moved out. to a neighbor ladys house. is spending time with an ex and functioning fine at work but still has no feelings for me. she would if she takes her meds. i know the marriage is over. but im fighting her divorce till the last ounce of being to see her get help. the woman is so cold now. but can turn it on in front of the cameras. half her family is with her 1/2 is not. the first three days i just wanted my wife back now i only want to help her. i love her too much to see her do this to herself. i cant function. i know i need help but how can i get her help?

thanks smiley. i have gone from wanting my wife back, to telling her to go to the hospital and if when she is well she gets the divorce, to begging her to just take the script she was given. I have this ace up e sleeve. I' in the house, she wants it. its hers from previous marriage. but there is no reason she can make me leave, i am not a threat to her or the children and until the divorce is final, about a year, she cant make e go. i have the two oldest kids being taken away by their father and she has to buddy up to her ex to see the youngest two. the only thing important to her now is the kids and her job and she wants her house. if she don't get help she will lose her job. she is losing half her kids and i' in the house. i really really really want my wife back. and id go thru this onemore timeif it meant even two more days with her. but i know that if she does not get help i lose it all her, my family, well thats all of it. she will not take pills because adderall messed her up so bad. i pray with my pastor daily. he was ours but he tells the truth and she hides from that. if she cant make sense of it in her world its a lie. but id sign it all away and move out. if she gets help. i even called to tell her lawyer this. b4 i hired mine. i have a meeting thursday. with her attorney and her. but my terms to him will be 2k a month for ten years and shewrites written apologies to everyone she lied to. i know the money is a joke but for her to write those letters means she has to reflect a little. her kids are the victims. and the little ones dont understand it yet. but they will, within the year she will have lost it all she cant control thespiral. im seeking help. i cant stop doing stupid things. i keep thinking she is with somone else. if anyone would be it would be her. she craves sex. thats the
hardest thing now. its been 8 days since she left and i still cant eat. im told i need help. i do. but its more important to help her. im still able to admit my need she cant

You are in my prayers friend. I am glad you are praying with your pastor. It seems like so much of this is out of your control. If you need to talk to someone please call 1-800-A-Family. The counselors at Focus on the Family often have good advice. Hugs!

I've experienced your pain as well shocked. I told my story in an earlier thread here. My wife was my girlfriend for over ten years. We lived together for a decade before getting married and shared almost every part of our life with one another.

Once she began to exhibit strange behavior due to her bipolar (and possibly other mental health issues) it was like living with a stranger. When I tried to address it, she just pulled away even more. Some days she will beg me to reconcile, then a day later tell me how much of a piece of crap I am. Her voice haunts me like a ghost when she is "normal" for lack of a better term (I apologize for this as I don't know how else to better say it). Then like a waking up from a dream, it's all gone again.

I tried and tried and tried to help. She moved out six months ago when I found her concealing a relationship with another man. For a period I give into the notion that her mental illness was the cause of our troubles, and that she couldn't possibly be this callous. Illness or not, the callousness, lying, cheating all became too much.

Don't give up if you aren't ready to give up. Only you will know when that point is. It took me a long time, and I'm still not 100% on it. At some point you will have to save yourself from the chaos though, as hard as it may be. Good luck, and I wish you the best.