My GF was just diagnosed with BiPolar with Hypomania

I am very new to this and never thought I would be looking for answers, but I am.  My GF of 2.5 years was just diagnosed.  This all started on Oct 3 when we had a break up.  Even at that time and in hindsight I can now see she was BiPolar.  This Hypomania is very new and the mood swings/ irritable, etc. are very saddening to me.  We broke up basically she threw me out because it took to long in her mind for me to get breakfast that morning.  I asked her why she sent me 15 txts to where was I to why was I doing this?  I was miffed because not sure what I did.  That lead to her saying I was a problem, I needed therapy etc.  Again, at the time, Im just shocked and I really thought I was the ass but couldn't understand why.   Anyway, during the month of October she basically lost it.  She bought at $50k car she can't afford, got a pitbull to bring into a house with already 6 animals and 2 kids.  She had a relationship with someone else, she thought the neighborhood was out to get her, thought she had a stalker, thought she needed a gun, and so many more delusional things.  She also began thinking she is artistic and everything is very grandiose.  All these things seem to be what I have seen or read about.  The crash happened Oct. 30th by her being in a parking lot in the light because she thought someone was after her.  The next day we (me and her father/mother/sister) got her to hospital and she was committed for a week.  During that time she called me all the time, was sorry, was apologetic, etc. The day she got out (5 days) she kicked me out again...I had come back to be with the kids and take care of house.  It was a mess after having that pit bull in the mix.  Anyway, she was very happy and thanked me and I was the best, etc.  Then like i said, she got back and wanted me out because she had now thought it was an intervention because her whole family was just wanting to welcome her.  3 days later she contacted me and begged for us to be back, she seemingly admitted to all her mistakes, she was ashamed but really would not talk about them but would rather just put everything into one thing and want to act like it didn't happen. I, not fully understanding, came running back.  That next day I spent locked in a room because she was over the top happy.  to the point of being over top of me and laughing, when id ask her to stop she took as some rejection.  Anyway, the next day I contacted her family again.  She was supposed to be going to a Dr. Appt anyway from being committed.  we all went and that day she was over the top irriatable to a degree I have never seen.  Long story short, she got committed againon 11/10.  During that time I once again came in and did what i thouht was right thing.  I also visited her and took every call which were tons.  during this second time she seem to be a bit more lucid and once again I thought I could work thru this and we would be fine.  Nope, kicked out again.  Now she is convinced she is fine, feels better than ever, believes this hypomania is the best thing ever.  Believes i am the Bipolar one which for the life of me doesn't make sense because her own theory would to be I just need to act nuts and not take meds.  Again, I am new to this.  I am trying to learn, trying to put my own feelings aside but I feel oh so devastated and she is seemingly fine if not mad at me.  Any help or thoughts?  anyone?

with treatment, management, therapy and actualization it reduces massively. sorry what is a bi-polar person? people do recover from bi-polar and manage it. some people chose to hide in there condition, i do not.

Thanks for all the responses...what would adding pot to the mix do? I found out she started smoking again after being without when she was in the hospital 2 times. she seems even more delusional and paranoid?

Hi smith,

Although my wife is not to the level in which your GF is, I can understand exactly what you are going through.

My wife is one of the most endearing, loving and caring women I have ever met, so when she decided that she wanted a separation because of the problems in our marriage, I was devastated. During our 1 month+ separation, and living in the same house (we couldn't afford being apart, financially), I worked on doing these things which have helped me dramatically:

1) worked hard on the separation paperwork, the intricate details, the "reality" that would be if we were separating.

2) I did a ton of self-reflection because I felt like I was 100% at fault in this relationship. From that self-reflection, I found my faults in the marriage and have worked through them as best I could.

3) I approached our local mental health community and made appointments with a man who is bipolar who also offers group classes for people afflicted by bipolar, or for family members that have to work with a loved one afflicted by bipolar.

4) I spent a long time finding a balance between the guilt I had in myself, the fear that it exposed in me and the regret of not seeing the depression/mania when it happened.

Within all of this, here are the things I found that helped me cope with everything.

* I lost almost 20lbs working out, taking daily walks and generally keeping myself fit and healthy. This is by far the best thing you can do for yourself, as you will be proud of what you are doing and proud of who you are. A bipolar person can't seem to find that pride, but they can see it in their partners that they are building their strength.

* I wrote poetry and my thoughts almost every day to look over days later, and see what my mind was going through. I applied logic and reason to my thoughts and instead of focusing so much on her being bipolar and how she feels, I found myself focusing on myself and how I need to be strong, not just physically, but mentally as well

* I talked a lot with my wife and have been very honest with her. I set my boundaries and have tried very hard to stick to them. It seems to me that there is a form of resentment when applying boundaries, but your happiness and your feelings are also at risk when with a person who is bipolar, so you need to take care of yourself first. The best and most welcome analogy is this, "You need to wear the oxygen mask first so that you can help the people around you"

* I went through our EAP (employee assistance program) at work and approached my doctor about my anxiety. I was referred to a counselor (intake) and through a couple I found some nice coping and it was good discussing the issues I was having with them. They are a non-bias entity so they rarely pass judgment on your situation, you or your significant other. Try and explain your situation at best with the intake counselor and make sure that the bipolar is a discussion you would like to have since there is a stigma against it and some people, even counselors, just have no experience and no knowledge on the disease

Most of all, you need to take care of yourself and be ready for anything that she will throw at you. Never take anything personal (try not to lol) and always keep your own boundaries since you too are only human, so if she expects you to treat her with respect and dignity, there is nothing wrong with making sure she follows the same rules.

As naan has said though, considering this will never end, make a decision now if you can handle and deal with it. I am a constant reminder to others that it is not an easy task, yet I have a wife who admits her own disease and DOES work at helping herself...and I still find it hard and almost impossible some days to work with her.

Keep your head up, come back and chat if you need to, and PM me if you feel like you want more one on one advice. I know I could always use more support, I am certain you need it too.

Hope this helps