Posted 1/27/2015 6:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all. As I sit here sobbing, I am just not sure where to turn anymore. I feel sick to my stomach. My husband is bipolar. (undiagnosed and unmedicated). This really sucks. It's an extremely hard situation to be in. I love him with all of my heart, and I want to be the one to help him, but I am just so tired. Physically and emotionally. We have two children, age 3 and 8. They are both very wise to days when "Daddy is in a bad mood".They know when to stay clear of him, and let him be. Today, my husband freaked out on me due to not being able to find something. When I started getting upset with him, my 3 year old came up to me, took my hand and said "It's okay Momma, I'll keep you safe." I almost lost it right then and there. I just didn't realize how much it is affecting my children.
My husband grew up in a really horrible home. His parents to this day are still horrible people. There was a lot of anger and emotional/physical abuse. His dad is schizo or bipolar and there is also something wrong with his mother, but who knows what, because she refuses to go to the doctors. It wasn't until we were married and had our first child, before everything got really rough. Don't get me wrong, there were warning signs, I just didn't realize how bad it would truly get.
I am a Christian and I take my wedding vows very seriously, it will be 10 years, this fall. I just am at a loss. Do I say good-bye, and try to get in a better spot with my children? Do I stay in this marriage? I am so scared. I don't want my children to grow up to be like him, or to grow up thinking the way he acts is normal.
Any advice is appreciated. Thank you