Dealing with multiple doctors?

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 since 2004. Last year my diagnosis was changed to MDD but is back to Bipolar 2. Recently after dealing with so many drs. over so many other health issues I made a decision to be done with this mess. Now, of course my mental illness is to blame. I have my freedom today because I am not a danger to myself or others. I spent a week defending myself because I have chosen to stop all medications. I have been dealing with early stage cancer, my primary for general health, a surgeon that won't do needed surgery because I smoke, and a pain clinic that will turn away patients when it comes to pain meds if they take psychotropics, psychiatrist, and therapist. I have three damaged verabrea in my cervical spine along with a ruptured disc, spurs and pinched nerves. Of course mental health says my depression causes my pain and the medical says the pain feeds my depression but still untreated. In this mess, I have learned that three of these drs. haven't been straight forward with me and a couple missed some things they shouldn't have. How do others deal with this? When does the right get too big to fight?

I did quit them all cold turkey. I have degenerative disc disease also. We have one neurosurgeon in town and he refuses to do surgery because I smoke. I had a lumbar fusion done in 2012 and smoked then, my surgeon moved to another state. Cervical spine has 3 vertebrae that are bad a ruptured disc, spurs, and a pinched nerve. He will only do surgery when I am nicotine free for 3 months. No patches or anything with nicotine. I have tried all different forms and have not been able to quit. Chantix is the only thing I haven't tried and can't get that because of my mental illness. I feel like I have been chasing my tail. In this town where we have one hospital and all drs. are affiliated. Tonight I hated to do this but I had a friend that found something for my pain. I don't want her to do this because she could get into trouble. Unfortunately I needed it and can't get it from a Dr. I feel better tonight than I have in six months or more. I shouldn't have to go to the streets to get medication for pain. As for depression causing pain, I don't agree. I can manage my mental illness normally but pain will trigger me when its real bad. I learned today that if my psychiatrist was more familiar with the laws he could do a forced hospitalization because me going off medications can harm me physically. Never knew they could force anything other than psych meds. I'm learning, not that it has helped my situation. Overwhelmed is the best way to describe it. I look at all the health issues I have and feel defeated. Why would anyone want to take a treatment to prolong their life if the quality of life is bad? Do we just take meds to prolong our lives so we can suffer with the pain?

I have tried so many different forms of smoking cessation and failed. The only one I haven't tried is chantix. I have heard so many people have been able to quit with that. Of course, I haven't been able to get that because of the mental illness. I know my downfall is my anxiety, as it climbs I have to find a way to bring it down. Yes, it is a nasty habit but it also can prevent me from going into a full blown panic attack. I feel like I'm a prisoner because my body and mind together have conquered me. If I can get beyond the anxiety to do my shopping, I am then down for a couple days because the activity increases the pain to umbearable levels.
I guess the only way I feel like I'm in charge of my life is to keep the drs. out. I have become someone and something I've never wanted to be. I have no expectations so I can't be let down. I'm done being just another number. The one promise we have in life is death and I don't fear that. My God is going to take me when he sees fit whether or not I am running to and from all these drs.
Thanks for listening and the suggestions.

I know I used to smoke. Not much but enough it was hard for me to quit. I couldn't do Chantix because of the other meds I'm on. Then when my other meds weren't working right my Dr. tried me on Serequel XR and I never wanted a cigarette since then. Maybe it was that that made it so I never wanted to see, smoke or smell it every again. Plus the meds are really doing the trick. I'm glad that I don't have to deal with pain just my mental disorder. I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with both.

Lis1208