I have been with my husband for 9 years. We got married two years ago and had a baby last year. For eight years we were together I never saw any signs of bipolar and he had never had an episode in his life. He was always very passionate about
sports and hobbies but I just thought it was his personality. He has always been a reliable, smart and strong person.
But last year, shortly after the birth of our child, he decided to go to this race since my mom was in town to help with the baby and he got into an accident and had life threatening injuries. He eventually recovered and was forbidden from doing his sport for 3 months. He seemed better but then he went on a week-end trip with his friends 3 months after his accident, he said he was ready to do his sport again.
When he came back he seemed very excited and had his first manic episode at home...a neighbor called 911 because he got out of the house yelling and praying to god naked in the street of our neighborhood and the cops showed up and an ambulance took him to the hospital. After we found a psychiatrist, and he got on meds but it was a lot of arguing, I even got kicked out of my house to a hotel room with the baby and my mom.
I told my husband I was not ok with him having his guns back yet, and said he needed to wait until we made sure he was stable again, he thought he was stable and that I was the one being unreasonable, blaming me for everything and he just had to have his guns back now. He has never been threatening with the guns, but I was really traumatized by just seeing him in that state and was just trying to do the right thing and be cautious. After some therapy and hashing things out, we made a deal that if he was good for a little while and showed he was stable and taking his meds he could have access to them again.
Fastt forward to a month ago it's been 10 months since his last episode and he had another episode again. This time though he was saying he was god and jesus, crying incontrollably and ran through our house's iron gate with his truck, and also said to me he would shoot himself if I called 911. I was very scared for him and worried, and so I called our friends to come help us out since I was alone with the baby and him. We got him out of the house away from guns and called 911 but they needed to have me commit him because he had not done anything wrong technically. So I had to be the one to make that decision. He was committed and had to go through a pretty tough process and scary mental institution places. Now that he is out and on new medication, he is ok again.
But we have been arguing and he said some things to me like we might not be compatible because I said he needed to wait minimum a year to be stable and have access to guns again, because thats what his doctor told me. And he seems to have this 3 months limit in his mind until he can use them for leisure again. I just dont understand why he is so attached to his guns, I know its been his hobby ever since I met him, but now that he has this condition I just dont think it is reasonable for him to have access to them. I understand that this is hard for him and he feels like he cant control the fact that he looses control, but its hard for me too, when I was left dealing with the bills at home, the contractors at our house, the hospital and doctors calling me, the baby to take care of.
He says I have it so easy because Im a stay at home mom right now, but it was excruciating for me to have to go through all of this, see him like that with our 1 year old baby tot take care of. I'm tired and dont feel like fighting, yet i feel like constantly need to draw bounderies with him, and he keeps pushing my buttons and blaming me for what happened. He says that I own him now and he feels like I have all the power because i have his gun safe combination and remind him he needs to get his sleep... I truly love my husband and care for him with all my heart, he is a good man, but im worried about
our future, I'm worried he won't be able to get passed certain things. Especially because he said part of him wants to run away to another state and start fresh.
He also said that ultimately he wants to be a happy family with me and our baby and that he needs my help...I'm just wondering what other people think of our situation from a neutral point of view...am I being unreasonable wanting him to be stable for a longer period of time in order to have access to any weapons?! He is not a violent person, he has never threatened me but after what he said I was worried he would try to hurt himself, even if he says to me he would never do that, he thinks he said that to get me to not call 911. And how can I make him see that his guns are not that important, and his family should come first! Any advice would be appreciated.
I have made some paragraphs in your post to make it easier to read.
Post Edited By Moderator (straydog) : 7/18/2018 12:47:51 PM (GMT-6)