The reason I wrote the above about
anyone who is bipolar but is not on meds is because when I was about
27, I was in that situation, so I’m just wondering if there is anyone else out there wandering around with their mind swirling but not knowing what to do? I’m just wanting people to know there is help.
I knew there was help but my mind was swirling so much I couldn’t formulate a plan. That and a negative attitude toward solving problems in general. I did develop a positive attitude, I did get to a psychiatrist but only after I had a nervous breakdown.
I could have prevented that. What came during and after the visit to the psychiatrist was just as bad as the untreated bipolar.
My mother was a psychologist who was sicker than any patient she ever saw. She’d been sexually abused as a child and it caused her psychological damage and made her a borderline personality disorder person.
I’ll give you an example.
One day when I was about
10 or 11, a mother from up the street came to visit with her 3 year old child. The child was enamored by a bookshelf of toys that we had.
The next day, the same mother calls and tells my mom that her 3 year old child was missing. So my mother tells the woman that she will be looking for the child and will call her back if she finds him, and hangs up and tells me what is going on.
I thought, I’m wondering if the child is in there playing with the same toys that he had yesterday? I walked into that room, and just listened. From behind a big chair to the left, I hear “Tick, tick, tick, tick.”
I looked behind the chair and there he was playing with the toys.
I told my mother, she told the lady she had sent me into that room to see if the child was there, and he was. The mother came down and got him.
How close a call was that? Very.
First of all, my mother closed down all hope of that child being found when she told the mother on the phone, “I’ll look for him, and if I find him I’ll call you.”
She did not invite the mother to our house or yard or nearby streets to look for him. My mother abhorred social contact because of her condition. She had to block out the woman from coming to her house to look for her child, thus putting the child in danger of ever being found.
The mother backed off. She should have said, “Can I look up and down on the street where we were yesterday at your house?” And then walk on down anyway, and into our yard, knock on our door and look in the room with the toys. She did not.
After promising the child’s mother she would look for the child, my mother didn’t look for the child, she never got off the bed where the phone was. So, nobody is looking for the child, or at least in the right place.
So, now my mother becomes a psychologist and when I have a nervous breakdown, I call a psychiatrist that is in her mental health unit because I trust my mother’s judgement more than my own. He’s her associate, not mine, so he gives me a mind-altering medicine that closes down my emotions to help my mother, not me.
What’s going on here? At 27, I can’t get away from my sick mother’s orbit. I didn’t have the self-confidence because I never learned it growing up.
So now here I am encouraging others with bipolar symptoms to get medical help. I wonder why.
Post Edited (Tim Tam) : 8/30/2022 4:27:45 PM (GMT-7)