Leaving or running?

Morning Rosie,
The whole quitting alcohol on his own thing is possible, though highly unlikely. Alot of it depends on how much he's drinking and how often he's doing it. If he starts early in the day and continues all day, every day, it could be a physical dependence as well and he'll need help with that.
I didn't go through this with my ex, not really. While I knew of it and supported him, I had already left him when he quit. Our divorce had been final for a couple of years. We still remain good friends and I find him much easier to get along with off the sauce.
Don't forget to take care of YOU while your dealing with all this.
Ellie

Two bottles of wine a day, well, some people might say that "it's just wine not whiskey" but you can be just as much an alcoholic on wine as on liquor. That does sound like quite alot of drinking and may be the reason his pdoc is having difficulty diagnosing him. It's hard to tell whats real and whats not when someone has a buzz on. His pdoc may have suggested inpatient treatment and thats why he's not wanting to go back.
Actually, I'm not on the comp as much as it may seem. I have four kids still at home so I can't be on constantly, but I do pop in off and on during the day. Just checking things out and back off again. It's when I'm feeling really bad that I spend so much more time here. I guess this IS what I do for me. I don't really have friends irl, I'm very reclusive, so this is my connection to the world.
Take Care and have a good day
Ellie

rosie,

your  friend is setting himself up to fail.  he may be saying all of the right words, but look at his behaviors and actions.  he could get help from the pdoc (if the pdoc actually exists), but he decides to elect out of therapy.  he is going to stop drinking, but decides, again, to "be macho" and go it cold turkey.  yeah. right.  heard those things before.  as i learned to say whilst in england, "the other one has bells!"  but he can then turn around and say, "but i TRIED!"  bull hookie.

and, you, girl.  i can hear you saying, "but i LOVE him."  sounds like my granddaughter.  makes me want to puke my guts out.     I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU (AND MY GRANDDAUGHTER) FIND THESE LOOSERSS!

save yourself, rosie.  it's not too late for you.

seriously, kid.  i know you care a great deal about this man.  but it may be better to see how he is if he grows up.

warren

Hi all,

Hey Warren, stop puking!!! -- Promise not to say "but I love him" (and that one doesn't count, right?!). As expected, he crashed big time following all this (self-harming came up over the weekend...), but I was able to use the opportunity to talk some sense into him (the tough love bit!), and he's texted today to say he's booked to see a new pdoc. To be honest, I am very pleased that it'll be a different one, rather than the old one, because that doc-patient relationship was going nowhere fast. Gonna make sure I get proper details of this one from the outset! And he knows what I think about him not getting help now... .

I've also called in his best friend to help take some of the pressure off me; so I really am protecting myself better. In fact, the ads I've gone on have really helped and I feel much more like my self -- able to cope and not go nuts with all of this. I guess after months of stress my coping gave way and I'd stopped helping myself. Well, at least one of us knows how to look after ourselves, eh?! :)

Promise I'll be much more wary in future and no celebrations till I have full proof of his commitment to getting better. Thanks guys -- I need tough love myself sometimes!

Rosie x